I need to know how to discuss finances with my husband

[Karzoopa]

Hi, i’m Fairly new on here and I need to know how to discuss finances calmly without husband ready to explode. I have not gotten a diagnoses from a doctor but I feel my husband has all the signs and symptoms off a BPD because he loves me one minute and hates me the next. In the same breath he says how much he loves me then 10 minutes later he tells me he wants a divorce. I am at my wits end and need some guidance and support. He admits he does this and doesn’t know why but feels guilt and shame later about it. Thanks for your help

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MrRight]

Hi, i’m Fairly new on here and I need to know how to discuss finances calmly without husband ready to explode. I have not gotten a diagnoses from a doctor but I feel my husband has all the signs and symptoms off a BPD because he loves me one minute and hates me the next. In the same breath he says how much he loves me then 10 minutes later he tells me he wants a divorce. I am at my wits end and need some guidance and support. He admits he does this and doesn’t know why but feels guilt and shame later about it. Thanks for your help

Is this because you are sliding into debt?

I have the same issue with my wife - I am the breadwinner and as far as she is concerned - if she needs to spend it - I need to earn it. She will explode if I try to suggest maybe we should consider my income and then go from there. The result is after 17 years we have a mountain of debt.

I think you need to try and approach him from a non blame point of view. But it is not easy.