Hello all you amazing Beacons of Compassion ~*~
My partner and i had been working with a internationally known therapist. He informed me that my partner has "strong tendencies of BPD" and to go to the BPDCentral site. One of the things that has been happening, is that my partner has been spreading lies about me to his friends. Our therapist suggested that i simply send the few people involved a message that says-
I am concerned that - my partner's name- had been spreading lies about me. We have been working with a therapist who supported me in sending this article- insert link to BPD Central. And, then say- The article is very compassion and solution based, which is the point of me sharing this with you. Take what you like and leave the rest. I care for ____ deeply and simply want to support him through better awareness. I knew there was a bigger issue happening, after the episode that happened in July. (They all know) I am relieved to know what is happening and how to best help with solutions.
So my question is- with higher functioning folks with BPD- the issues are usually not seen unless with the person's significant other, due to how the energy works within intimate relationships. How do i mention that in the short introduction? Because these people do not see how he gets, when they only see him once a week for an couple hours. Also, I would like to add that i have also heard this situation is also referred to as Communication Processing Disorder- bc it is all about what is a form of dyslexia. I have heard it is both audio and many times visual, as well. It is so hard to communicate and have the person understand what is being said- and that you are not judging and attacking them, and to simply know there has been a misunderstanding, to rise above it and to clarify what was heard. I mean- we all need to do this, bc most issues are caused by miscommunication.
Please let me know your thoughts on what to write in this message. I want to keep it very short, but with enough explanation to be clear.
Thank you and i am so grateful to find this support. I have been in relationship with my partner about a year and a half. I have chosen to back off and make things a friendship level, as of right now, because i want him to get deeper help. Also- how does one find good help and how on Earth does one get the person to do it? Does anyone have experience with becoming simply a friend with someone with BPD, after being an intimate partner? Do they change and stop with the trigger/reactions. I think this person is wonderful- in public and as just friends, bc he does not seem to get triggered, at that level of connection. And this is what i read in these articles on BPD- that the problems usually occur with intimate significant others. If i had known, i would not have chosen to take the relationship to that level- because i really enjoy this man, when he is not triggered.
Thank you for your insight and inspiration! Enlighten me please, Enlightened
