I didn't get to celebrate my relationship anniversary this year, maybe I will in the coming weeks, who knows, but I have another anniversary coming up that I want to celebrate!
I have almost 6 mo's here with all of you and I am so grateful to each of you for your presence here and for sharing your stories! 
As I've said before, I crash landed here last summer in the middle of a crisis.
I am still so incredibly glad I realized I was not the only person dealing with an excessively high number of highly destabilizing "break ups" and other behaviors I'd never encountered before in any relationship. That really helped me tremendously! I was finally not alone with my troubles!
I want to offer some quick words about how I use the site so far to perhaps inspire you to more consciously think about how you use the site. This is a great resource and being conscious of it can help you get the most out of it!
Because of my particular situation I could not always reveal my full backstory, I am still not secure in doing so... .it's complicated but has mostly come out in bits and pieces here and there and at the times I was brave enough/composed enough to host my own threads.
I dove into the site by posting on other people's posts that I could relate to for one reason or another - I'd lived through the same/similar things, I simply wanted to express sympathy or encouragement or give someone a virtual hug, I was moved by something I read, lots of reasons... .
By posting and not just lurking I got to know others here and
feel part of a community - a source of support that has helped me stay grounded during tough times. It's okay to lurk, this can be big and overwhelming stuff, but it's also great to hear from people who are having successes (don't leave us!) and we need to hear about and share with those who are struggling. I like to both give and take a bit here, but I know sometimes we are in such tough straights it is hard to reach out and speak up. On Sunday I had such a hard day I wasn't sure I was even going to speak to anyone this week! I was ready to just become mute... .I felt out of words in life entirely, but here I am rising up again... .
I got my words back!
Some people need a bit of encouragement and your kind words could be the light that helps them not give up hope that day, and that is powerful stuff! As you get better at the
skills you will find yourself feeling more secure and even teaching them to others which is also powerful stuff! It helps you make it a part of yourself and make a difference - we get to cut down on suffering in the world - and that is not a small thing!
I write too much, often. But it also works as an interesting journal for me, and it's me. I make no apologies for being me.
When ya can, write a shorter crisper post - it may get more responses, but if you gotta get stuff out just do what ya gotta do... .and next time you can be more focused because it's all out there now, people know you.
If you are feeling strong that day,
please remember to reach out to a newbie if you see one, letting people feel welcome and at home gives them the signal that it's okay to open up... .And post on the threads of folks who you've gotten to know too, it helps us all feel less alone, let your heart lead you... .
At first I could not navigate this site well, I would poke around but I was missing the real meat of the site and that is this page called
Relationship Skills and Tools Workshop:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0 (I should remember how to post pretty links by now, but I am always in a crisis and forget!)
Read and reread deeply in those threads, but also let us know what is going on with you (no success or problem is too small to share!) and remember to help each other when possible.
I want to learn more and get even better at internalizing these lessons. There is so much deeper to go with this!
How do you use the site? Are you a lurker, but dying to speak up? Afraid to post? Feel inadequate? Don't know what to say? Totally confused? Can we help show you around a bit more?
wishing you all peace and happiness in the new year, pearlsw.
