How does pwBPD act after their ex significant other gets into a new relationship

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

How does pwBPD act after their ex significant other gets into a new relationship?

[savreina]

How does pwBPD act after their ex significant other gets into a new relationship?

[araneina]

If they're working on their replacement then I doubt they'd even notice.

However I will add that my ex seemed to know a lot about what most of his exes were doing.  One married the guy she supposedly cheated on him with, another was engaged... .so I imagine they check in from time to time.

[savreina]

my exBPD tried to add me on fb from a fake profile and when I didn’t accept the request they deleted the profile. Also she still is active on a dating site but doesn’t have any pictures up there. Maybe she’s up there to spy on me? I only say that because we met on the site she’s on & when we were good she’d never get up cus I had her attention. So I doubt she’s found a replacement

[MeandThee29]

Mine would have a fit. In his case, it's all a control issue though. Before we split, he frequently talked about finding a "better" woman, and afterwards said that he might find someone to live with him where he is now. If I found someone else, he'd roast me through and through and tell his family how I was cheating on him. My therapist predicts that he will indeed find someone in 2018 and keep it a secret from his family, if he hasn't already.

Frankly, being older, I'm not all interested on taking on some else's baggage anytime soon. I have enough of my own!

[Mutt]

Hi savreina,


My girlfriend knows my exuBPDw before we got together she didn’t know her very well, she got the mask that my uBPDw  wears so she didn’t know about the dysfunction. My ex is jealous of my gf and my gf knows that my ex is angry which baffles her because I’ve been out of my marriage from my ex for 5 years and she’s still attached.

I haven’t BPD and I won’t, I used u in uBPD, she’s not diagnosed and I’m not a doctor. We’ve been going out for several months so I started showing some of the emails that my wife sends so that my gf has an idea of what she’s getting into if we take things even further. I want to be transparent I just describe the behaviours I don’t label my ex with BPD.

Are you worried about how your BPDex is going to affect you current r/s?

Are you worried about losing your current partner because of your ex?

[savreina]

Well the first time we split up she started dating someone immediately after & then came back to me while they were still together & tried to be friends, I was okay with thag but I made the mistake of telling her that I was going on a date with someone & from that day on all she would do was bring him up (we’re both bisexual). I’m afraid that once she reaches out to me again she’s gonna be obsessed about the fact that I really let go of her & found someone else even tho she always told me I deserved better. We haven’t spoken in 4 days due to a huge argument we had

[Mutt]

Hi savreina,

I know that it’s too early detaching takes time that doesn’t that you can’t set goals. Depersonalize her behaviours become indifferent to them, you neither like it or hate it, work on detaching and stop reacting to what she’s going to do.

You know her best and you’re right there’s going to be backlash you gave a right to be happy she has a disorder where it’s nearly impossible for that person to detach that’s not your fault and if she doesn’t want to work on herself that’s not your fault either you’re not responsible for her feelings because that’s part of self management.

[Pretty Woman]

If they are in a new relationship themselves, nothing. Often there will be radio silence. They do tend to keep tabs, albeit secretive tabs, watching from fake profiles or trying to get info through mutual friends.

At the end of the day it's about supply. My ex always knew what her exes were up to, even if she wasn't speaking with them, they need back ups and proxies.

[SWLSR]

I can only give my experience.  She had a replacement lined up most likely she had started with the replacement while we were still together, most likely she began I was a replacement in the same fashion.   She went radio silent with me, she did not want me to know anything.  Later I found out though she was stalking me and trying to keep tabs on me.  That was seven years ago, today I really do not know, we have kids together so I do have to deal with her.  I have a feeling she is sneaking around on who she is with now, the signs are all there I just choose not to get involved with her life anymore than I have to.  She is decent to the my current significant other though I still do no trust my ex being my current.