Mom with BPD

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I was wondering what everyone's thoughts are when it comes to putting boundaries in place or expressing disappointment and hurt with a BPD Mom.  Many times, the reaction to any form of criticism creates so much more chaos and dysfunction.  Is it worthwhile, or even important to say anything when a boundary is clearly crossed or just ignore and not react?

[gvw]

I was wondering what everyone's thoughts are when it comes to putting boundaries in place or expressing disappointment and hurt with a BPD Mom.  Many times, the reaction to any form of criticism creates so much more chaos and dysfunction.  Is it worthwhile, or even important to say anything when a boundary is clearly crossed or just ignore and not react?

[RolandOfEld]

Hi gvw, welcome!   

In terms of your mom, are you living together, or if not, close by? How often do you see each other? Is she diagnosed? 

I didn't realize my mother had BPD or BPD traits until ten years after she had passed when I discovered my wife's BPD and connected the dots. Could I go back now with the knowledge I have, I would have done things a lot differently.

Could you share some examples of boundaries you feel are being transgressed? 

Here you will find a lot of stories from people with common problems. I suggest you read and join in some related threads to gain some context for your situation and learn from other's experience.

ROE

[Turkish]

Hi gvw,

I'd like to join RolandOfEld in welcoming you here!

What kinds of boundaries is your mom crossing?

We have some discussions which may help.  Let us know what you think:

1.08 | Boundaries - examples

I like the particular discussion above since it makes me think about my own values and my limits. 

T