My BPD girlfriend and transitional objects

[Chibru]

Hello.

I recently joined this site and it's been really useful. I was looking around for information about transitional objects, as my girlfriend has them but I couldn't find the exact help I needed so I decided to ask myself.

I understand that a lot of people with BPD do have transitional objects, but is it common to have several? My girlfriend has always had a love for stuffed animals since she was two years old.

She has over one hundred, a lot are from her childhood and others she brought without thought. She talks to them like they're her friend and treats them like they're alive. It's clear that at times she would rather spend time with them than with a person.

I once asked her about it and she said they make her feel more secure knowing that she is loved by someone that won't leave or hurt her. She admittedly considers them family.

She once lost a few when she was a teenager and still is upset over it. She remembers everything about them. And sometimes still brings it up. She even talks about being convinced that her mother threw them away to despite her.

I've never really had a problem with any of this, it seems like they help in sense, but I don't want it to effect her in a negative way. Is this common with people who suffer from BPD or a more extreme case? Or is there a possibility that it's just who she is and nothing to do with her BPD or any other problem?


Thanks so much.

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[Turkish]

Hi Chibru,



I've seen this mentioned a few times by members over the years.  Your gf is pretty honest about telling you her feelings.  That's good.  We have a discussion on object constancy which mentions transitional objects. There is a lot to read, but tell us if it's helpful. Click on the quote link for the whole thread:

There is a lot of confusion between "object constancy",  "object permanence"  and transitional objects on message boards. The former has to do with people, the later has to do with objects.

Transitional Objects: For children, a ''transitional object'' can be a teddy bear, or a security blanket. For long the conventional wisdom has been that, as normal children mature, they outgrow such fixations. And the attachment to blankets and the like after 3 or so was, in the classic psychoanalytic framework, defined as disturbed or regressive behavior.

The connotation has been negative, but Horton believes the evidence is against that.  His work embodies a school of thought among those in psychiatry who hold that such attachments can continue normally: ''The relationship that I'm talking about is vital, humane and essential to development throughout one's life,'' he said.

Object Permanence: The understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be observed (seen, heard, touched, smelled or sensed in any way).

Object Consistency / constancy: I think these pages from Gunderson's text (ISBN-10:1585620165) really help put it into perspective - it addresses the issue of object constancy for a pwBPD and their developing relationship to the major object (people) in their life

[Chibru]

Hi Chibru,



I've seen this mentioned a few times by members over the years.  Your gf is pretty honest about telling you her feelings.  That's good.  We have a discussion on object constancy which mentions transitional objects. There is a lot to read, but tell us if it's helpful. Click on the quote link for the whole thread:

Yes that was helpful, thank you