Anecdote: We should thank him for the eggs.

[Depression = 72% of members]

BPD mil called with an excuse to stop by (immediate need that could not wait, of course), "uncle Tom gave me some fresh eggs for you, his hens are laying and he has eggs coming out of his ears!"  i love fresh eggs so i agree.  The next morning we are eating them and I say , "we should call and thank your Uncle Tom!"  Husband says don't because he probably gave them to mom and she just 'said' they were meant for us.  I said "no your mom made a point of saying that he wanted them to go to us and she had the same story for your brother when she rushed his eggs to him."  he was still pretty sure it was just her game

But i feel like... .must we risk appearing ungrateful so that your lying mom doesn't look like SHE is ungrateful?

[OhGeeeez!]

BPD mil called with an excuse to stop by (immediate need that could not wait, of course), "uncle Tom gave me some fresh eggs for you, his hens are laying and he has eggs coming out of his ears!"  i love fresh eggs so i agree.  The next morning we are eating them and I say , "we should call and thank your Uncle Tom!"  Husband says don't because he probably gave them to mom and she just 'said' they were meant for us.  I said "no your mom made a point of saying that he wanted them to go to us and she had the same story for your brother when she rushed his eggs to him."  he was still pretty sure it was just her game

But i feel like... .must we risk appearing ungrateful so that your lying mom doesn't look like SHE is ungrateful?

[Turkish]

I love fresh eggs too 

Hard to know what is real here.  Hard not to step into a dynamic... .your H and his mom have one.  I'd just thank her and thank uncle Tom the next time you see him. 

[Mutt]

Hi Ohgeeeez!

 

But i feel like... .must we risk appearing ungrateful so that your lying mom doesn't look like SHE is ungrateful?

You’re not responsible for someone else’s feelings.

[strength_love]

Welcome to the circus. This is exactly the sort of thing I have to deal with on a regular basis as well. Makes me feel like I'm going crazy.

You could just call your uncle and say, "We tried some of the eggs you gave mom, they were delicious, we really enjoyed them!"

Covers both bases.