Was going to see her but she said we are just friend

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I was going to visit my exgwBPD tomorrow. I asked her if she still loved me and wanted to be with me. Her response each time was yes I've already told you I do... .I was scheduled to leave tomorrow am. I got a text from her saying hi today. I replied I just checked in I'm excited to see you. Met with radio silence... .I asked if she still wanted me to come and her response was if you want too. I said if you want me to I am excited and would love to see her... .she said don't be complicated your my friend and I want to see my friend.  for me so I called her up. I said are you seeing someone else? She replied maybe. I said I told you I was coming down to discuss living with you and being with you and if you are seeing someone else I don't want to come. (I've previously expressed this a couple times) and each time she agreed and said I should come and that she's excited to see me. My instincts were feeling tainted about this whole visit and have finally come to fruition... .she said she would call me back, but has yet to do so... .I don't know why if I was/am feeling so tainted about this, why I can't make the healthy choice... .I would love feedback or responses, because this is going to be a difficult week detaching for the second time from her (I previously had to this past summer)

[Emotions]

I was going to visit my exgwBPD tomorrow. I asked her if she still loved me and wanted to be with me. Her response each time was yes I've already told you I do... .I was scheduled to leave tomorrow am. I got a text from her saying hi today. I replied I just checked in I'm excited to see you. Met with radio silence... .I asked if she still wanted me to come and her response was if you want too. I said if you want me to I am excited and would love to see her... .she said don't be complicated your my friend and I want to see my friend.  for me so I called her up. I said are you seeing someone else? She replied maybe. I said I told you I was coming down to discuss living with you and being with you and if you are seeing someone else I don't want to come. (I've previously expressed this a couple times) and each time she agreed and said I should come and that she's excited to see me. My instincts were feeling tainted about this whole visit and have finally come to fruition... .she said she would call me back, but has yet to do so... .I don't know why if I was/am feeling so tainted about this, why I can't make the healthy choice... .I would love feedback or responses, because this is going to be a difficult week detaching for the second time from her (I previously had to this past summer)

[formflier]

 
Hey... .am I right in figuring out that this is the second time you have done this?  So far is this playing out like previous recycles?

If it is more than twice, let me know.

   

Sorry this doesn't seem to be turning out the way you would like it to. 

Has there been much "push/pull in your relationship?

FF

[JoeBPD81]

How long were you separated?

I'm sorry to hear about this blow. I got desperated trying to get a straight response about she wanting to see me or not. It seems a really hard question for them.

As we don't get clear responses, they don't sound sincere, so we hold on to hope, and we get very confused. It is difficult to move on when you are not sure what is happening.

I can't offer answers, but I get you, and I wish you the best.

[pearlsw]

Hi Emotions,

Just checking in and seeing if you have an update!

Did you go ahead and decide to see her? How are you feeling?

take care, pearl.

[Emotions]

Nope... .she texted back I am seeing someone, it just started and I didn't know how to tell you, I still want you to come if you want... .are you still gonna come? I replied I wish I was coming but I'm not... .I texted her the next day, I am thankful for our friendship and I will think of her every day even if we won't talk as much... .she said she hopes I'm okay she loves me still cares about me and considers me family. The next day, v-day, I said happy Valentine's Day, she replied happy Valentine's Day. Haven't texted (or spoke since) I have been talking to family and friends for the past three days, and am trying to remember that when one door closes, another door opens... .I went through this last summer, and am remembering some of the same feelings as then. I feel more relaxed, but still wonder how she is and I do miss her honestly speaking. So I'm doing ok, it could be better emotionally, but it could also be worse... .it tiring emotionally-mentally, but I am counting my blessings and thankful for things in life that I notice these days, but managed to go by the wayside when I was focused on her... .time will tell my brothers and sisters!

[Emotions]

We went NC from June 17' to September 17'... .I have visited her 3 times since September and I was attempting a recycle I guess... .I got my wish, and I was planning on being with her again... .she ended up seeing someone maybe the same replacement, maybe a different one... .this was the first recycle for me

[Red5]

Emotions,

I have to tell you, TRUST you’re instinct or what is called your “gut”.

It will never let you down !

Red5