He shoved me and tried to throw me out of the house

[almondblossom]

I'm new here, new to all of this. I'm feeling a lot of things right now but they are hard to put into words. I have been married for 10 years now, we have 4 kids, and I homeschool.

My husband is a very high functioning borderline, that is why its so hard to detect, and the reason why I won't go to marriage counseling with him, because I always end up looking the crazy person.

Last week there was an altercation, I followed him, and he had a reaction where he shoved me and tried to throw me out of the house, while calling me every name you can think of. I only see this when I am trying to pressure him for answers.

FOr years I thought is was NPD, which changed the way I saw him, and the compassion level I had on him. His sister was recently diagnosed with BPD, and doing some research I have found that A--- encompasses 8 of the 9 criteria. He is textbook, without telling him what I was doing I had him read an article written by someone with BPD and asked if he could relate, and he said he thought those feelings were normal. How sad. To feel empty, and like your emotions are so jumbled up that you don't even know what you are feeling. He says that his emotions are always in a fog, and when overwhelmed he lashes out. I am just learning about all of this, he doesn't have a formal diagnosis yet, but I am nearly 99% sure he does have this. He is willing to seek a therapist to see what they say. So, here I am... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

HI almondblossom,

I'm sorry that you have been experiencing so many troubles in your marriage. I'm glad that he is open to talking to someone. I hope he finds the help that he needs.

Was this the first time he has ever gotten physically violent with you? Did you leave the house?

I want to share our Safety First resource with you. It's important that you set a plan in the event things turn physical again.

[Mutt]

Hi almondblossom,

I'd like to join TatteredHeart and welcome you to bpdfamily. What a scary experience to go through, I bet that it can feel pretty lonely being in your shoes when counsellors think that you're the one with the problem. We can't diagnose,only a professional can do that what we can do is look at BPD traits. You're not alone. Please check TatteredHeart's link for your safety, are you safe right now?

[Radcliff]

almondblossom,

I'm sorry for the situation that you're in, but am glad that you've found us.  This is an amazing place.  You will find others here who have experienced the combination of BPD, being shoved, abusive words, and more.  Not so long ago, I made my first post as you have just done.  I had no idea how much help I'd find here.  Tell us more about your situation, and become a regular here.  You'll be glad you did.

WW