At wit's end

[Swimmy55]

Hi,
 I googled and this website showed up.  My adult son ,24  has this.  I am feel defeated that there are some folks here that are living with adult kids a lot older and going through this a lot longer.  He has had a rage episode this morning ( came off of self medicating on pot) .  He did know the line in the sand , but today he grabbed the phone out of my hand.  I made it plain he has to speed up his job search ( just graduated college and looking for work) so he can leave the house.  Ironically, he was very peaceful on pot.  Anyway, he did cross a line with me today.  I have to figure out how to enforce it.  The good/ bad news is that he hates living with me as much as I hate having him here.  He was sort of functioning for a while, showering, eating, going to gym, sort of looking for work.  However, he did/ does isolate in his room.  Anyway, thanks for reading.
Swimmy

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Swimmy55 and welcome!   Glad you found us... .sorry you had the need to do it.

Hope you spend some time reading posts written by others.  I'm sure it won't take long to find a story similar to yours.  That, in itself, is comforting... .knowing you are not alone... .knowing that when you write your posts, there are others who are reading and nodding their heads... .understanding what you are going through.  No one here will judge you.

Sadly, there are no magic buttons to push to get all back-on-track... .but here you will find lots of information (see to the right |---> to get you started on making changes... .some changes really difficult to make.

Do you have any family support... .a partner... .other children?  Have you ever gone in for counselling for yourself... .gotten help in finding ways to deal with his BPD behaviours?

It is good to read... ."he hates living with me as much as I hate having him here."  That is more of an incentive for him to get out when the opportunity arises.

So, once again, welcome Swimmy55.  We are here to listen and support.  It will be helpful for others to read your posts as you document your journey with your son... .the good that happens and the not-so-good.  We learn from each other here.

Huat

[Rosie1q]

 
Don’t give up hope take each day as it comes. There’s advice on this site to help you cope with the rages believe me when I said we all understand what you are going through this is a illness which is at times cruel and selfish.Theres  times you will feel angry and hate the child you brought up but know in your heart you love them. That’s why you have reached out in frustration to this site. All I can say is learn as much as you can and take time to look after yourself too. As a mum I reach out to you and send my love and prayers to you both.

[Cromwell]

the withdrawl from cannabis will intensify any prior depression or anxiety he had before taking it by about four fold. try to see if he can get some anxiolytic medication to help him come off to deal with residual anxiety and aggression and/or begin a course of anti depressents to help him transition?

[Swimmy55]

Thank you all.  Just reading your kind words is making me cry in public!  I am currently in a Barnes and Nobel , sniveling... .

I am currently in therapy ( I have generalized anxiety) , thanks for info  about the pot withdrawal and I will continue to read thru the posts.  I am very angry at him , too today as he apparently read my diary from a few years back and recited direct quotes from it.  I feel violated, and after all the stuff (he's had mental probls since back in 06 when he was 11-12) I am about at the end of my rope.  Thanks, I will read through the posts and info for a while.
Swimmy

[wendydarling]

Hi Swimmy55

Welcome to you, oh bless you, here's a big hug from me.    

Whoa, that is a violation of your privacy, I'd be angry and upset - reciting quotes back to you.

We are here as you work through, one thing I will say is parents make progress here doing the work, it's not a quick fix, it's small steps in the right direction. I'm glad you've support of your therapist.

Glad you found us  

WDX