Help with obsessive thoughts

[Lovestrong]

Anyone have any tips on how to help your sowBPD with having obsessive thoughts on certain things that bother them? My gf has recently had a couple friends completely remove her from their lives for dumb/selfish reasons that aren’t her fault. But she can’t stop thinking about why, if she could’ve done something, etc. is this normal? Any tips?

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Lovestrong,

With this kind of thing I used to try talking to him and helping to put “good thoughts” in this head, but ultimately he had to be medicated. He has less obsessive thoughts now.

warmly, pearl.

[Radcliff]

Lovestrong,

I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend is experiencing negative thoughts that are hard to get rid of.  You might look up mindfulness exercises or breathing exercises.  I have found them to be useful for interrupting recurring traumatic thoughts and preventing runaway thoughts.  For example, breathing in deeply through the nose slowly, holding for several seconds, and then slowly breathing out through the mouth.  It's surprising how the mental concentration required to focus on breathing like this can completely disrupt whatever negative thoughts are starting to take over.  Then you try to move to an activity to keep your mind off of things.

WW

[Lovestrong]

Thank you both! I will certainly look into all of this. Anything help, thank you so much.