Sister and I are not in BPD Dad's Will - no surprise there

[Jennylove]

My dad is wealthy because of the inheritance he received from  my grandparents. My grandpa was an extremely hard worker who owned a contraction company. He built many homes, offices, buildings and even churches in my hometown.  He was also a stock market Genius and made a fortune by taking high risks.  My sister and I were the light of his life and he knew things were rough with my dad and us, he knew of my dad's ways, temper, anger.  I think he will roll in his grave when my dad dies and the wealth that is left over (millions) is given to my stepmom family and their closest friends.  I'm not surprised to learn of this. But it hurts most knowing that my dad's best friend who is only a few years older than I is probably getting most of it, and he is a BAD person.

[Kwamina]

Hi Jennylove

Sounds like your granddad achieved quite a lot in his life and also that he was quite fond of you and your sister

The situation with your father's will is rather frustrating. How did you learn about your father's will?

But it hurts most knowing that my dad's best friend who is only a few years older than I is probably getting most of it, and he is a BAD person.

I can understand why this would still hurt you so. Not only that you were excluded from the will, but on top of that, the person getting the most of it isn't even a pleasant person at all. Why do you consider this particular friend of your father as bad? What kinds of things has he done that lead you to label him this way?

The Board Parrot

[zachira]

It is so painful and distressful to know that  your dad is having his revenge by leaving you and your sister out of the will. Revenge for what? Who knows? It is hard to know and understand why a father would treat his daughters this way. It could be that your dad was extremely jealous of the love your grandfather had for you and many other inexplicable reasons that are never going to make much sense, which is so painful. If there was any logic to any of this, it might make it easier to accept and heal.  At some point, we sometimes have to choose between being the best person we can be and to discontinue the one way street of pleasing a person with BPD. Sometimes that choice does not even exist, as for no apparent reason, we are the scapegoat of the person with BPD, and oftentimes the hateful acts accelerate even though we are doing everything we can to get along.
The people pleasers who do what the BPD wants seem to be rewarded, and those of us who insist on a more reciprocal relationship  get the boot. It seems like you and your sister have little in common with your father, have a richer life than he will ever have, and maybe that is the best inheritance anybody could ever have. Please keep us posted, and let us know how we can support you. There are many people on this board who have similar experiences to yours, and care how you are doing.

[Jennylove]

Hi Jennylove

Sounds like your granddad achieved quite a lot in his life and also that he was quite fond of you and your sister

The situation with your father's will is rather frustrating. How did you learn about your father's will?

I can understand why this would still hurt you so. Not only that you were excluded from the will, but on top of that, the person getting the most of it isn't even a pleasant person at all. Why do you consider this particular friend of your father as bad? What kinds of things has he done that lead you to label him this way?

The Board Parrot

I found out this week by my cousin, aka, my dad's drinking partner. My dad told him that when the executor of his Will suddenly died last year, he and my SM had to scramble to get a new executator in-place and when they did that, they made changes to their Will. He told him that sister and I were supposed to get half divided amongst us, while everyone else was due for the rest. The executor used to be my stepmoms best friend and apparently she was getting their house that was built on property that my grandpa owned and passed on to my dad . Now that she passed, they've decided to downgrade and move to their farm house.

His best friend is bad news because when I was a teenager, before he knew my dad, my bestie and I were invited by him to his apartment party. We both got drunk and we're both taken advantage of by his friends. Apparently my dad found out about it years later when he and this guy met and befriended eachother. This is when my dad started ignoring me, stopped calling me, stopped birthday gifts, Christmas gift and stopped inviting me to family events or his 4th of July parties. He basically valued this guy as a friend more than me as a daughter.

[Kwamina]

His best friend is bad news because when I was a teenager, before he knew my dad, my bestie and I were invited by him to his apartment party. We both got drunk and we're both taken advantage of by his friends.

Wow, I totally understand why you consider him bad news now. I am very sorry you and your best friend had this horrible experience back then. What happened in the aftermath of this happening? Do you feel like you've been able to heal from this traumatic experience?

Apparently my dad found out about it years later when he and J met and befriended eachother. This is when my dad started ignoring me, stopped calling me, stopped birthday gifts, Christmas gift and stopped inviting me to family events or his 4th of July parties. He basically valued J as a friend more than me as a daughter.

If your dad indeed found out about it, it is quite disturbing that he responded to it by shutting you out while befriending this person. Have you ever talked to your dad about what happed to you?