It's good to hear that you're putting your personal priorities first and focusing on your future. Good luck with your Masters! Take a little time to really think about what you value in a relationship and put some good energy behind that.
Have you spent any time thinking about what brought you into a disordered r/s? Having been through this experience presents us with an opportunity to take a look at what makes us get into and hold this type of r/s, and we can then begin to make choices that better serve us. It's worth putting the work in before prospecting new partners, as getting healthier ourselves will mean we attract healthier mates.
Love and light x
In my case we were only together for 8 weeks, but clubbing friends for 9 years. The moment she crossed a major boundary I pressed the "break up" button. She's extremely high functioning, there was no way of knowing unless I had bothered to quiz her exes before starting the relationship. I've been wanting to make amends with her for three main reasons
1) Going cold turkey on her was extremely painful, I was very much addicted to her so early on that was the main driver
2) I've known her nine years and we've had some great times and to me that's worth a lot (sadly means nothing to her)
3) Learning about BPD made me realise she has been through so much pain and it's not her fault she is like this, so as someone who values those 9 fun years we were mates, I just want to help her face this and get help (not going to happen).
It probably doesn't help that my Dad has a lot of narc traits so I'm used to love being conditional and having to take a lot of flack - though I'm glad to say I'm aware of this and I'm not accepting these traits in the would-be mother of my children.
