Hoarding and BPD, is it a coincidence

[juju2]

Hi family,

One thing i nvr shared all this time, my sep s.o. w BPD seems to have a hoarding disorder.
Does anyone else have this in their relationship... .

I wasnt willing to look at the hoarding, because it wasnt like on t.v., it wasnt like that.
Its only now, that want my space cleared, backyard, carport, 3rd bedroom, that i have looked into it.  He seems to have all the qualities of hoarding.  And i guess because i accepted this behaviour, it became a non discussed topic.

When i met him, he had a lot of stuff in his house, backyard.  So i figured that him and his stuff was a package... .he had pictures of people he didnt know.
All the stuff was fm storage units he bought and could sell items at a yard sale or craigs list... .

What i saw is how much i accepted him, and how much he accepted me, when we moved in together, my dtr was a tween, hateful, and didnt listen to me or him.  We went thru so much w her, my other dtr, and both of his kids... .

Its like we have this history.  I know he cant be replaced in my life. 

Thank you for listening.   j

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[pearlsw]

Hi juju2,

In my case my SO throws everything away! Even things I want, without asking, even after promising he won't or will at least ask first. Nope. Straight to the garbage! It seems to be about impulsivity. So I think hoarding is just... .another thing.

How are you feeling today?

warmly, pearl.

[juju2]

Thank you Pearl.

I feel o.k., am still not ready to give up.  Am going to go on.

I feel like there is so much history in our time together, good, bad, in between.  We tried to get kids off drugs, he mentored men, i saw lives changed.  I loved those men, i pulled for them, we went to their marriages.  so much happened, i made a list of all the things, each year, and it was like living a different life each year we lived together!  He underwent major surgery, and a serious surgery, two minor surgeries during this time.  The major surgery was first, cancer, and we didnt know if he would survive.  After surgery, family, friends were in his room, waiting to see when he would wake up, and his daughter was looking around his hosp. room, there was this drawer she pulled out, it turned out to be a potty, you just pulled out, swiveled, and you could flush,  and we had a big laugh, she pretended to use it, flushed it, and he woke up! We were all giggling, kissed on him, hugged, that experience i will never forget.  There are so many.

One of his guys, wanted to go camping w us, he couldnt find our site.  He drove his motorcycle all over, campsites, i woke up, heard this motorcycle, for some reason i knew it was him.  We got up, he found us, and it was a miracle, because he had been to so many campsites, cell phones didnt work on the mountains... .

there is so much more.  Thank you for asking Pearl!

[pearlsw]

Hi juju2,

Thank you for sharing your memories! You two have a quite a long history together! Sounds like you were together through many struggles and yet there wa a lot of love. It is not easy when we aren't sure what comes next.

What do you mean when you say you aren't ready to give up? On yourself? On him? On what?

wishing you peace, pearl.

[juju2]

Thank you for your support Pearl.

the r/s, him, and me.  I feel like we have something worth fighting for.

[Chynna]

Yes Juju, I believe my xbf did have a tendency toward hoarding. His huge minvan was packed mostly with junk. I guess some pwBPD have to hold onto things. ~Chynna

[juju2]

He sent me a heartfelt email, he understands where i am at, he said no one has ever tried this hard to patch things up.  He said he has too much baggage... .wow.  i just want to cry