Why is she contacted after 6mths NC?

[Lostinanother]

   
Contact after 6 months NC
I broke up with an ex 11 months ago.
The break up was pretty bad. She cheated on me and got with the guy she cheated with. She tagged me along for 4 months lying to me about her cheating and being with the other guy (who is long distance)... .
After the 4 months of tagging along I saw the light and went NC... .

4 months of NC I get a message on Facebook
“Hi, I know you don’t want to hear from me but I hope you’re doing ok”

I ignored.

I got three more messages

“Thanks for ignoring me”
“Don’t worry I won’t contact you again”
“I just wanted to know if you’re happy. If you’re happy, I am happy too”

I ignored all of these messages because she is poison and I’m in a new relationship now... .
I blocked her on Facebook because I didn’t want to hear from her... .
However after 6 months of NC I get a long rambling message to my gmail telling me that she isn’t wanting forgiveness and she knows she hurts me and she just wants me to remember the good times we had... .


My question is; why is she continuing to send me these kinds of messages so after NC and after I’m ignoring everything and obviously don’t want to hear from her. She is still in a long distance relationship with the guy she cheated on me with... .

Why doesn’t she just let it go?

[Cromwell]

She has nothing to lose and everything to gain, even if you reply "f off".

My most likely thoughts are that she is in an emotional-slump and needs to reach out for some soothing to get through it.

My advice is not to be alarmed by it, or feel the need to dignify a response. 6 months of not speaking to someone is plainly obvious in normal terms that you dont want any communication anymore - it is a social boundary crossed under the guise of the reason being about you not her.

its all about her and any form of response, positive or negative is something she can work with, distort in a palatable way, better than nothing.

"f off dont email me again" = "oh he still cares about me, he just is hurt still, I just need to try harder to convince him". or she can validate you as bad person that shunned her when all she wanted was to make sure you were happy.

Moving forward my advice is to continue what you have been doing, your life has moved on and her learning that she wont get anywhere at all will eventually make her acknowledge the futility in even bothering to try. Its not to say you might never hear from her again, I still expect I will, but not responding whatsoever increases the chance that over time my ex will have had to find some other source to depend upon for self-soothing.

Her contact is not about you - although guised as being so - it is all about her needs at that moment in time she sent the email.

[Mutt]

Hi Lostinanother,

 

My most likely thoughts are that she is in an emotional-slump and needs to reach out for some soothing to get through it.

I agree with Cromwell, you probably already know that BPD is an attachment disorder a pwBPD doesn't completely detach like you or I. As previously stated there's something going on in her life and she's reaching out for soothing, she may even be trying to create an exit plan with you from her current bf. It doesn't matter what she wants, it matters what you want, give her radio silence and don't give her attention the sooner that this will blow over.