Does your BPD stage things?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

... .absolutely amazing to watch, once you know what to look for ... .

Yes, it is interesting to watch.  I've gotten very good at predicting what reaction to expect, and what will trigger that reaction. 

I can only imagine how good it feels for your BIL's to be able to talk back to their BPD wives when they are all together, like they have momentarily regained some power, but if their wives are anything like my DIL they will have hell to pay when they get home. 

[OnPinsAndNeedles]

... .absolutely amazing to watch, once you know what to look for ... .

Yes, it is interesting to watch.  I've gotten very good at predicting what reaction to expect, and what will trigger that reaction. 

I can only imagine how good it feels for your BIL's to be able to talk back to their BPD wives when they are all together, like they have momentarily regained some power, but if their wives are anything like my DIL they will have hell to pay when they get home. 

[Enabler]

Like the prisoner in a stripey vest running across the moorland, knowing full well they will be caught and sent to solitary... .for that moment... .THEY ARE FREE!

[OnPinsAndNeedles]

My ex seemingly used these staged situations to create opportunities to debase and devalue me.

I've told you you're not a REAL man.

Wow! The sexualizing of the Legos is really strange.  Was she sexually abused as a child?  

They absolutely do use opportunities to debase and devalue their significant others.  I've read that pwBPD have a lot of shame, so it would seem that they like to debase others to feel better about themselves.  I have also heard my DIL tell my son "You're not a man."  I wonder how common it is for pwBPD to use this phrase.  I see my DIL as a 3 year old trapped inside an adults body.  Whenever anything seems odd, or inexplicable, I ask myself how a 3 year old would act in that situation, and most of the time the pattern fits.  So, when they tell their significant other that they are not a man, are they really projecting their 3 year old selves on them?  I know I over analyze this stuff, because I really want to understand it.  

[OnPinsAndNeedles]

Like the prisoner in a stripey vest running across the moorland, knowing full well they will be caught and sent to solitary... .for that moment... .THEY ARE FREE!

I love the imagery, Enabler! 

Once I confronted my DIL in front of the whole family about an attack she made on my son.  I told her that her behavior was inappropriate, and would not be tolerated and she could leave.   I later pulled my son aside to apologize, telling him that I should have kept my mouth shut, and that I probably just made things worse for him.  I expected him to be worried about the fallout.  To my surprise, he was laughing about it, and said "Thanks. She needed to hear it, but I couldn't say it." 

[Red5]

Like the prisoner in a stripey vest running across the moorland, knowing full well they will be caught and sent to solitary... .for that moment... .THEY ARE FREE!

... .that scene from "American Werewolf in London" just came to mind !

"Stick to the road, stay off the moors!"

I can only imagine how good it feels for your BIL's to be able to talk back to their BPD wives when they are all together, like they have momentarily regained some power, but if their wives are anything like my DIL they will have hell to pay when they get home

... ."Run Forest... .RUN !"

I'm wondering if being a "Queen/Witch" and having NPD are actually the same thing. 

... .comorbidity ?

Queen/Witch

= extreme end of spectrum, .to the right (malignant)... .that's tough, when the pw/BPD-npd does it on purpose, and with premeditation... .not cool ; (

Red5

[Red5]

I know I over analyze this stuff, because I really want to understand it.

Me2... .

It is "overwhelming" at times... .like I've been living in the "matrix"... .eating way too many blue m&m's... .then somebody slipped me a red one, .and it had "BPD" stenciled on it... .now I cant get enough ; (

I want to know more and more, .its all consuming... .

I wonder what the green ones taste like ; )

Red5

[XSurvivorX]

Wow! The sexualizing of the Legos is really strange.  Was she sexually abused as a child?  

She was, yes.  I think that is really the start of it all, because it led to situations within her family of disbelief, which created the trust issues, which then created anxiety, attention-craving, which then allowed her to enter into additional abuse situations, but as a willing participant.  It's really a long, sad sad story.  I eventually learned it all from her after two years.

But indeed - Even though I lived it, I am still sort of fascinated to know how it really works.  The "You aren't a REAL man" thing got used against me a lot.  It got to me a few times at first because I had been a functioning adult when we met and she had done nothing in life other than continually go from school to university to post-grad etc.  Professional student, when I had actually been around the world and what upset me was that who was she to be making this sort of judgement? What basis did she have?

And then yes, over time I realized it was because had reverted to that emotional inner-toddler. Bingo.

[OnPinsAndNeedles]

I wonder what the green ones taste like ; )

Well, Red5, to continue the movie analogies... .  In the Bourne Legacy the green pills made him smart.  From your posts, I can tell that you don't need the green pills.  You are obviously very smart, and can see through the BPD BS.  I appreciate your insights. 

Welcome to the BPD Family XSurvivorX!  I think your lego situation and my cake situation are amazingly similar.  Thanks for the confirmation that I am on the right track. 

[Red5]

The "You aren't a REAL man" thing got used against me a lot. 

Me2 XSX!

"You aren't a REAL man"... .says the Accountant to the Aviation Ordnanceman!

Thank you for your service XSX, .I am a veteran too, spent a couple days in the Marine Corps, and all those daze added up; that comes to twenty-six years  !

I echo' OnPinsAndNeedles, .Welcome !

V/R Red5

[XSurvivorX]

I echo' OnPinsAndNeedles, ... .Welcome !

Thanks to you both - Semper Fi my friend.  Always had an appreciation for the USMC (they tended to be the only other ones on the ground with me  ). Glad to have you around as well, Red5.

Yeah.  I guess its just something she did/does to try and get a rise out of us.  I feel like fights were a fuel for my ex pwBPD.

[Red5]

Yeah.  I guess its just something she did/does to try and get a rise out of us.  I feel like fights were a fuel for my ex pwBPD.

... .one would think, after having dealt with, and communicated with such demeanors/personalities in the service, that; you and I dealing with our significant others would be a "piece of cake"... .,

*enjoy this short video ( )... .R rated content: contains bad words, not pc, and may be triggering to some people... .

https://www.you.tube.com/watch?v=-oF0XYRhRvA

SgtMaj Sixta could have been my last squadron Sergeant Major  !

... .yeah, BPD

Red5