13 y/oD has self harmed, been hospitalised, just starting DBT, need support

[jhaint]

Hello,

Over the last year and a half we have witnessed our daughter go through self harm/self destructive behaviors. She's now 13 and a half and this all started shortly after she turned 12.  She goes through extreme emotional phases sometimes on a daily basis, sometimes every few days etc... .Sometimes we may not even know she's had extreme ups or downs. She's been hospitalized twice now for cutting. ER visits to fix the wounds followed by 72 hour MH holds, then after the second incident she spent 1 week in a lockdown facility followed by 1 week in a step down inpatient facility. We realized that the facilities only caused her more stress and increased her depression. A few weeks prior to this latest incident her psychiatrist semi diagnosed her with BPD traits and suggested DBT therapy. We have begun DBT therapy with an initial consultation with just my wife and I and then our daughter had her first session where she took some 350 question test. We'll review the results on Wednesday and really get started with therapy after that.  The biggest concerns we have is how to deal with her in the meantime. What to look for, how to react to her isolation and dealing with the fear and anxiety that she may try to self harm again. We have locked away all sharp objects in our house into a small safe that only my wife and I can get into.  We fear that she'll find a way to self harm if she truly wants to. My wife stays home with her now and she participates in online school. So there's some relief in that we can watch her 24/7. But we want her to have a normal teenage life, we just don't know how to allow that as some triggers that caused self harm in the past were a result of friendships/typical teenage "relationships." I know we'll learn coping skills with her therapist but we wanted to reach out to a community of parents who are or have experienced what we're going through and try to seek some help/guidance on how to move forward with her. She's such an amazing, talented, beautiful little girl who we only want the best for. If we could take away her pain and carry that burden ourselves we would in a heartbeat. Thanks in advance for any advice!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[DremNCWgrl]

 
Welcome!  
I really wish I had words of advice for you but, other than empathy, I'm in the same WTH-do-we-do-next-boat as you. Your story sounds very familiar. I've been participating in this board for just a few days so I'm no expert but I think you will find it very helpful. The more I read about others with similar stories, the less alone I feel. The resources on the right have also been invaluable in making me feel like I'm finally headed in the right direction. Good luck as you navigate the rough waters ahead!  

[Feeling Better]

Hello jhaint

I would like to join DremNCWgrl in welcoming you here, I hope that you find the site to be as useful as I have found it to be.

It certainly sounds like you are on the right track with your daughter and the only advice I have to offer is to read and learn as much as you can about BPD so that you can help and support your daughter. There are TOOLS and LESSONS to the right to help get you started   and along with those may I suggest that you read and participate in others threads. There is such a lot to be learned out there as I have found out for myself  

[KarenC1214]

This is my first post. I had to respond to you because your story is very similar to mine. 13 yo daughter who became depressed and suicidal about a year ago. She finished 7th grade doing online school after 2 Inpatient stays. I have the same questions you do and worry about all the same things. School starts next week and she will be doing online school again and working on her therapy. Very isolated and having bad OCD from her meds so another med change. So very sad at times. Hugs to you!