adult child showing BPD signs again

[lalawmom]

Wow, I can't believe I am back here after an absence of 10 years.  My 29 yo daughter has been relatively stable for the past 10 years.  She finished college (Phi Beta Kappa), worked in a high stress professional career for five years and received her MBA from an excellent university.  She is in a serious relationship with a wonderful young man who loves her deeply.  I thought our BPD days were behind us since, with only 3-4 exceptions, there have been no "meltdowns" of the type that occurred for her between 14-19.  She was never diagnosed with BPD but described by her psychiatrist has having some of the traits. On Tuesday, as she and her BF were returning from 3 weeks in Europe, they had a fight that triggered a full blown episode. Her BF texted me; he was so concerned and scared.  I guess she ultimately calmed down.  She needs help but I can't make her get it.  Maybe BF can. I hope he sticks around. He says he will but I'm most afraid that my daughter will end it to be "in control."  I'm primarily venting in order to release some anxiety.  She has gotten mad the last few days if I text or call her.  Not knowing what is going on is very hard for me.  Thanks for listening. I know she is extremely stressed as her new career starts next month and she never does well when her schedule is thrown off by travel, jet lag, etc.  It was a perfect storm for her to be triggered.  I should say that about 6 weeks ago, she did have an episode with me, with no provocation.  It was a flashback to 10 years ago and brought back all my PTSD!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.  I am so sorry to hear that your daughter's symptoms seem to have returned.  It is understandable that you are now experiencing anxiety.  Fortunately, you reached out here and we can help support you plus we have a lot of tools that you can learn to help yourself as you interact with your daughter.

What sort of treatment did your daughter receive when she was younger?  Other than here, what sort of support do you have?

[Turkish]

She has gotten mad the last few days if I text or call her. 

Her boyfriend triangulating you for help is understandable.  Do you think she knows this? If she does,  that might explain her anger.