I’m 20 and I have Autism and my undiagnosed BPD Mom treats me like I’m stupid.

[Tillycat]

For example I went to my friends house who also has Autism and my parents were picking me up (we were baking ) and my Mom immediately started telling me what to do like I’m a 2 year old and I don’t like her facial expressions and voice when she does this and sonetimes she laughs after this . The feeling it gives me is like I have to treat you like this because you can’t handle things on your own and you don’t know what your doing so I have to tell you what to do for you to figure it out and like telling me what I should . I just finished my part of baking and she said what’s Trea doing you should help him ask him if he needs help . Now you need to wipe the counter and then I went to wipe the counter and she criticized how I did it . She said, “ just like I told you this morning about washing you face don’t just wipe bits wash the whole thing “ and she took the paper towel from me and started wiping it for me  even though I resisted she like pried it out of my hands this happened in front of his parents and I was so embarassed.

[Panda39]

Hi Tillycat,

I hope your mom didn't completely ruin the day.  I love to bake wish I had more time to do it!  It's especially fun when you can do it with friends.  (My guilty pleasure it the British Baking Show!)

I'm sorry she made you feel "less than" my mom is good at doing that to me too.  I want you to know that everything that went on is about her and her issues and had nothing to do with you.  That was all about her concern about how she appears to others (your friends parents) and how she thinks you reflect on her, but none of that has anything to do with who you really are.  She was trying to control you/put you down to make herself feel good about herself.

Tilly the person who should be embarrassed in that situation was your mother, her behaviors were inappropriate and I'm sure your friend's parents could see who was the issue here.  Don't own behaviors that aren't yours, this was all on your mom.

I wish your mom could be encouraging instead of critical but how she feels doesn't mean her feelings are true.  I know it's hurtful but try not to own her feelings, they are hers.

What did you guys make?  My latest bake was a Lemon Zucchini Bread, one of my son's favorites.  We joined a Community Garden this year and our Zucchini is out of control!

Hang in there,
Panda39

[Tillycat]

Hi panda 29 , I didn’t think about it that way this, yes she does care about what others think a lot ! Like everyone is going to Judge her and our family harshly . And yes she is also very controlling she exhibits the same behavior when she speaks to me at home at night saying now instert my name go up stairs and change your clothes and put your pajamas on and hang your things up neatly and I don’t want to see anything on your bed or the floor . My friend and I were making cookie dough brownies.

[Panda39]

When I still lived at home my mom was controlling about the neatness stuff too.

I actually went through a period when I slept in my clothes for the next day on top of my bed so I could sleep in a little bit longer and not have to make my bed in the morning!  To this day I never make my son make his bed!

Yes, some of this stuff is about wanting a clean/neat house because no one wants to trip on dirty clothes dropped on the floor, but then there is taking it too far.  It sounds like she is concerned about how she will be perceived if someone comes over.

Okay... .having cookie dough brownie fantasies   They sound super yummy!

My advice around your mom is know that her opinions are only one persons opinion.  Sometimes it feels like our parents' opinions are the only opinions but they're not.  Everyone is an individual and approach things in many different ways.  Just because you and your mom do something different doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means you do something another way.  I hope you will just continue to be you... .your authentic self.  Clearly you have friends that like you just the way you are.

Panda39

[Learning2Thrive]

Hi Tillycat! 

Cookie dough brownies sound deliciously awesome to me! I bet you and your friend made them just right. I’m really sorry your mom treated you that way.

How are you doing now? 

L2T

[Tillycat]

Hi learning2thrive I’m ok it’s just very annoying and makes me mad . I really want to go up to her and be like you really embarrassed me at  my friends house, I’m not stupid so you can stop treating me like I am . Like I’m a five year old without any manners or common sense . But I don’t want to start something . She’ll say something like  oh really well until you act more mature... . or are you trying to pick a fight with me ? or it’s I’m your mother it’s my job to teach you things. Or do you not think I was embarrassed when you didn’t automatically think to wipe the counter up after your self. She also has told my sister in reference to me that autistic kids don’t get to be treated like adults.

[Learning2Thrive]

Hi learning2thrive I’m ok it’s just very annoying and makes me mad . I really want to go up to her and be like you really embarrassed me at  my friends house, I’m not stupid so you can stop treating me like I am . Like I’m a five year old without any manners or common sense .

I understand. When I was young and living at my mother’s house she was often very condescending to me and she took great delight in finding ways to publicly humiliate me.

But I don’t want to start something .

Yes, I know this feeling very well. Like, it’s just not worth it because you know everything is going to get twisted back on you.

She’ll say something like  oh really well until you act more mature... . or are you trying to pick a fight with me ? or it’s I’m your mother it’s my job to teach you things. Or do you not think I was embarrassed when you didn’t automatically think to wipe the counter up after your self. She also has told my sister in reference to me that autistic kids don’t get to be treated like adults.

Have you ever asked her where she got the idea or why she believes that autistic kids don’t get to be treated like adults? I’m not suggesting you do this if it’s not safe or if you think it will trigger her rage (that would happen with my mom). I was just wondering.

  L2T

[Tillycat]

I’ve been nervous to ask and now I really don’t want to talk to her because we were watching the Netflix show atypical about an autistic boy and his family, as a family and she said “I don’t want you to be autistic ,I don’t want you to have problems . ” I asked her what she meant and she said “ I wan’t you to be wonderful and awesome ” then I ran up to my room and cried . Then my dad told her she was being insensitive and told her that I was wonderful and awesome anyway no matter what. Then my mom said something like all I said was Blah , Blah ,Blah what wrong with wanting that? Then she demanded that I come downstairs now. Like, come back here! Get down here right now!.  I really don’t like her for this like I know she has BPD but sometimes everything’s fine until she opeans her mouth Like we were just watching a movie . I don’t get it she wasn’t even  rageing and she still said something awefull  and this is actually the worst thing she could possibly say to me. Also I might post this again separately.

[Kwamina]

Hi Tillycat

I am sorry you had this negative experience with your mother. It could be that she was projecting her own negative feelings onto you or that in her own disordered mind she felt like it was ok to say something like this in the way she did. It sounds like the movie might have triggered something inside of her, having said that, her behaving this way does seem to fit the pattern of what you've described of how she treats you.

No matter what your mother says, you are already a wonderful and awesome person deserving of love and respect  Her words aren't a reflection of who you really are at all, in fact, they are only a reflection of your mother's own inner turmoil, negativity, anxiety and insecurities which she is projecting onto you.

You don't want to talk to your mother now, have you talked to your dad since this happened?

The Board Parrot

[Tillycat]

Well I just talked to my mother and told her I was mad at her and she  said, “about last night ? ” and I said yes , it’s not something that I can just get over like oh well,that just happened” I told her it was the worst  it was the worst thing she could have said to me . She said,” I thought you were a forgiving person” then I said well maybe your sorry and you wish you didn’t say that . Then she said I’m sorry and I wish I didn’t say that back at me like a parrot . I then said “are you sorry are you really sorry ” she said well I just think the more you read about it the more you become it like it’s giving you an excuse to be more edgy. Then I told her this is making me more mad and is making it worse and she said Just leave then just leave I don’t want to be with you . I’m sad and depressed your making me sad. She throws the word depressed around a lot so it doesn’t really mean that much to me anymore when she says stuff like that .

[Kwamina]

…... she said well I just think the more you read about it the more you become it like it’s giving you an excuse to be more edgy.

This wasn't a nice thing of her to say to you and I can see how this would frustrate you. I think it is good that you are standing up for yourself. Considering your mother has BPD traits, it might help to consider some of the communication techniques described on this site that can help you speak your truth and assert yourself. These techniques include S.E.T. and D.E.A.R.M.A.N.:

S.E.T.: Support, Empathy and Truth

D.E.A.R.M.A.N.: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Stay Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate

These tools can help you express and assert yourself, while minimizng the likelihood of further drama, chaos and conflict and maximizing the chance of getting through to the other person. These tools can also help us stay more calm ourselves as they present us with a structured and robust way of communicating with our disordered family-members. Have you looked into these tools before?

... .she said Just leave then just leave I don’t want to be with you . I’m sad and depressed your making me sad. She throws the word depressed around a lot so it doesn’t really mean that much to me anymore when she says stuff like that .

Do you perhaps feel like your mother uses the word 'depressed' as a 'get out of jail free card' so she doesn't have to take any responsibility for her actions? Do you feel like she was truly upset or just trying to find a way out?

[Tillycat]

Thank you for these tools! I think yes in the instacnce but she also brought it up earlier in the conversation . Usually like it’s like a poor me I’m depressed. She has also said she was depressed and felt like killing herself before saying she doesn’t want to live like she’s so depressed that she doesn’t want to live . But her tone of voice isn’t serious and she never is serious . Like the first time she said this cried and tought she was serious but then she would just throw it around more like she is just trying to get our attention by saying something dramatic and see how we would react . She has said these kinds of things multiple times before and she has never tried or actually done anything to hurt herself ever.

[Kwamina]

It's tough when BPD family-members make suicidal threats or gestures. Even when you've come to believe they aren't serious, there is always a risk here and either way, it isn't a pleasant thing to hear. My older uBPD sis used to threaten to take her own life as well, though she has never as far as I know actually done anything to physically harm herself.

We also have resources that can help when faced with suicidal ideation in others:
Dealing with suicidal ideation in others

Has your mother ever received any kind of treatment or therapy for any of her issues?

Has she ever acknowledged that there might be something wrong with the way she treats you?

I am glad you came back here for support and advice

[Tillycat]

No,my therapist kind of warned me about telling her that she has BPD that she would be afraid of what she would do. One I told he that she was paranoid and she freaked out like don’t you dare call me that I’m not paranoid being paraniod is a type of mental illness and I don’t have a mental illness. She will call other preppie crazy like my dad and tell him he needs help and needs to see someone . She has brought up wanting to do couples therapy with my dad probably to “fix” him and make him a better husband nothing to do with herself since she’s not the one with problems everyone else is .

[Kwamina]

It's quite unfortunate that your mother does not acknowledge her issues and the role she plays in creating the drama surrounding her. Sadly, this has been the experience of many of our members. My own uBPD mom and sis for instance also don't acknowledge their issues and in fact like your mom accuse other people of having 'issues'. This is extra sad because people cannot change or heal anything that they don't acknowledge is there in the first place. So they just keep repeating the same cycles of conflict and dysfunction... .

We unfortunately cannot change our disordered family-members, but what we can do is focus on our own behavior and change our responses to them. The tools on this site can help you with that. You reaching out on this site is an important step forward  and will hopefully enable you to better deal with your mother.

[Notwendy]

Hi Tillycat

I will try to help from the perspective of a teen with a BPD mom as well as a mom of teenagers. This is a tough transition. even for mothers and daughters who do not have BPD.  Although you are not a teen, you are still at the separation stage- old enough to make some decisions on your own and yet living at home. As a teen, it was frustrating having a BPD mother who emotionally reacted to my like a child would. As a mom, I had to learn to let go- my child is not little anymore- they have to make their own decisions about some things. It is scary because you still want to protect your child, but you know they need to grow up and do things on their own.

What you are dealing with - with your mother- is lack of boundaries. Parents with BPD tend to see their children as extensions of themselves, not as separate people. So if your face needs to be washed, she may act as if it is her face and just wash it. She picks her clothes, so she picks yours, and so on. This is frustrating- it is your face and your clothes and your friends. A parent who can recognize boundaries realizes- "this is not my face- and my child can choose to clean their face or not. I have to let them do that"

However, my mother hasn't changed much. She still has poor boundaries. If I were to tell her I was angry at her, like you did to your mother, she would respond the same way- about her hurt feelings. I don't think she can "see" my side of things. This isn't because you, or I, did something wrong -it's because she is so focused on her own feelings, she doesn't seem to be able to see someone elses.

I can't change my mother. The solution for me to have my own boundaries was to go to college and move out. I know that this happens at different times for people. Many students live at home- to save money and also because the dorms can be overwhelming - so many people in one place. I know you are working with your T  and don't want to move out now but maybe discuss this possibility in the future- maybe an apartment not far from home with a couple of room mates, possibly a group home if you don't feel ready to be on your own. Ask what options are available for you in your area and it can be a future goal.

For now, you want some freedom to see your friends without your mother involved. Maybe you can do this at school? Eat lunch with a classmate, join a club on campus, or even study with a friend after class. If your parents pick you up- have them meet you somewhere else on campus when you are done spending time with your friends- so you are alone when they meet you. Think of ways you can do more things with friends.

[gotbushels]

Tillycat 

You've got some fantastic advice from the others. I want to support your discussion here and especially about using SET. It's a really handy simple thing to use that I used with someone whom I thought had BPD. I encourage you to look it up. 

I’m not stupid so you can stop treating me like I am . Like I’m a five year old without any manners or common sense .

Being spoken to like a child may feel condescending and invalidating. It's often done by aggressive people to make you feel inferior. I encourage you not to let people define your value--especially not someone you think has BPD.

But her tone of voice isn’t serious and she never is serious .

Often, people take life and death issues seriously. A life lost is a serious issue. Sometimes with a pwBPD, it's up to you to decide how important things are. Then, just as you didn't tell her you think she's BPD, you can also choose to keep those conclusion to yourself. They'll help you even if you don't share them with the pwBPD.

Like the first time she said this cried and tought she was serious but then she would just throw it around

Yes, I understand the effect this may have on you as her biological child. Most people have a natural preset disposition to feel worried about a parent's wellbeing.

more like she is just trying to get our attention by saying something dramatic and see how we would react .

Sometimes people are dismissive of things that they genuinely fear. They may do this to minimise the feelings of the fear, or the fact that they don't know how to handle it. Regardless of her motivations, it's quite common for pwBPDs to say things to bring care-taking attention to themselves.

I told her it was the worst  it was the worst thing she could have said to me . She said,” I thought you were a forgiving person” then I said well maybe your sorry and you wish you didn’t say that .

If you feel deserving of an apology for a slight--that's fine most of us do. I actually think you did pretty well in stating your needs directly and telling her to consider things she may wish were true. I also want to hold out that being the "forgiving" one in any particular discussion with a conversation partner is actually a tremendous blessing. So you can treasure that. 

[Learning2Thrive]

  Tillycat,

It’s been a few days. How are you doing? How are things going?
 

Sending you gentle hugs and smiles,

  L2T

[Tillycat]

Things have been kind of off lately with my mother and I think it might have something to do with the fact that my grandparents with Alzheimer’s had to stay with us during the hurricane and this is my mom’s mom and dad and of which my grandmother also had undiagnosed BPD . My Grandmother to this day continues to say mean things to my mom but has grown out of her full on BPD behaviors no one now would ever think she has or had a mental illness . Now It’s like she is already on edge without a something actually happening to cause it + whatever happenes because of something someone does do to upset her. She is way more controlling than ever treating me like a five year old even more and criticizing me a lot . We can all be sitting enjoying playing a game , watching tv or , eating dinner and then out of nowhere she will start saying random mean stuff like or  just starting something or questioning someone. Llike on purpose trying to pick a fight with someone. Like my mom randomly was like when she was crying or fake crying in her bed room was like there’s somthing wrong with insert my name here because she wants to hang out with Autistic Kids . I’ve also been getting so confused with mixed messages because one day she will be very say unaccepting and unkind things about autism and me getting the diagnosis and who I want to hang out with the next day she’s at the local Autism society crying in front of the people there about how amazing their programs are and how important  this is to her daughter then the next day she’s like are you glad you got diagnosed now you wanted this so badly and now your officially Autistic different and weird . She also made fun of me the other night like you want to flap go ahead and flap some more while started flapping and stomping her feet . What keeps annoying me is that my mom thought as I got older started blaming her mom and her behaviors on menopause and how terrible it is and she hopes I don’t get like that when I’m older. She said that the other day and I wanted to say so badly it’s not because of menaupause it’s mental illness or like you know it runs in our family . ( my grandmas father ended up in a mental institution at some point) I just learned that this year . I feel like my mom doesn’t even know what she’s doing right now like she’s in panic mode. And I don’t want to be around her as much .

[Star0009]

TillyCat I'm so sorry to hear this. My whole time reading it it took me back to being your age with my Mom. I'm still dealing now 20 years later with separating with her and other family members who are abusive due to how I was raised. The whole time I was reading this I was also thinking this girl needs to get away from her Mom which is what you seem to feel yourself at the end. I know how hard it is to want to be around family but she is being abusive. Her thoughts on your autism have nothing to do with you having autism. Using autism is just a way for her to abuse you. She could use anything but she is picking that. Remember there is nothing wrong with being autistic at all. So many brilliant people are autistic. Take care of yourself and try to hang around people in your life who will treat you right if you can. At least take a break from her a bit maybe if possible.

[Turkish]

I’ve also been getting so confused with mixed messages because one day she will be very say unaccepting and unkind things about autism and me getting the diagnosis and who I want to hang out with the next day she’s at the local Autism society crying in front of the people there about how amazing their programs are and how important  this is to her daughter then the next day she’s like are you glad you got diagnosed now you wanted this so badly and now your officially Autistic different and weird .

My 8 year old son was diagnosed with ASD1 almost 2 years ago.  His uBPD mom isn't overtly shaming like your mom,  but she's demonstrated several instances of inappropriate anger (BPD trait!) towards him, the last worse one slamming her coffee mug on his leg,  causing a bruise, when he couldn't stop laughing when he locked them out of their condo.  He even said,  "I'm sorry but I can't control laughing." Yet being ASD1, she'll be quick to bond with parents of ASD2 or 3 kids, "my son's on the spectrum too!"

I know it's verboten to suggest that parents have anything to do with autism, but from what I've seen,  parents can certainly make it worse. Like your flapping comment.

I caught my son hitting his face on the couch a few months ago.  I asked him what was going on.  He said that he was frustrated over something he did.  I told him that it was OK,  and that he didn't have to hit himself over it,  but that we all made mistakes.  He stopped and it seemed to calm him (I said more but don't remember exactly what it was). I remember when he was 4 that he literally cried over spilt milk.  I similarly didn't make a big deal out of it and helped show him how to clean it up. He does do other stimming like obsessive body picking. We try to redirect.

A pwBPD feels deep, core shame about themselves. That's likely what your mother is projecting because she is unable to deal with her own shame.  That has nothing to do with you as a person other than being a trigger and a convenient target to offload her emptiness. 

[Kwamina]

Hi Tillycat

She is way more controlling than ever treating me like a five year old even more and criticizing me a lot . We can all be sitting enjoying playing a game , watching tv or , eating dinner and then out of nowhere she will start saying random mean stuff like or  just starting something or questioning someone. Llike on purpose trying to pick a fight with someone.

Your mother's behavior is quite difficult and definitely abusive. What role does your dad play in all of this? Do you feel like he sufficiently stands up to your mother and has tried to protect you from her abusive behavior through the years? How would you describe your relationship with your dad?

... .the next day she’s at the local Autism society crying in front of the people there about how amazing their programs are and how important  this is to her daughter

Why do you think it is your mother does this? Do you perhaps think she likes to get attention and validation this way from other people so she can feel better about herself?

Your mother making fun of you and doing that flapping thing is something I personally consider very disrespectful and offensive. Whether your mother acknowledges it or not, based on your descriptions, she seems to have some serious issues and seems unwilling or unable to consider the impact of her behavior on you.

How did your mother treat you before you got the autism spectrum disorder diagnosis?

And I don’t want to be around her as much .

I totally understand why you say this. Your mother seems quite an unpleasant person for you to be around with. You live in the same as house as her which makes it more challenging to set and enforce/defend boundaries. Yet still, having firm boundaries will be crucial as you attempt to extricate yourself from your mother's dysfunction and the hold she is trying to maintain on you.

Take care

The Board Parrot

[Tillycat]

My dad doesn’t know what to do and definitely doesn’t do the right things I’m trying to study BPD with him but it’s hard because my mom is always around like I said before . Right now my dad believes that she has BPD finally, after telling my sister in the car when my sister was saying that my mom doesn’t like her and when my mom wasn’t around that she has a mental illness three times and that say says untrue things because of it. My dads usual response to my moms behavior are like four things . first yelling and cussing back at her himself. Second ,Not saying anything at all . Third, Pointing her behavior out to her and wrongs out to her like “ look at you why are you acting this way . What’s wrong with you ? Your going off . What your saying is not true . And blah blah blah is your fault .  Like the other day I was so surprised my mom didn’t start raging my mom was complaining about money again and she’s said something like where did all the money go . And my dad said you spent it all on gifts for friends. Fourth is giving in to everything she wants and doing everything she says to do and makes me and my sister do the same no matter how ridiculous it is . My mom wanted this expensive Betsy Johnson purse with a cellphone attached at the mall and she wouldn’t shout up about it and she was whining about it  like a little kid so my dad bought it for her and she has like only used it once. Whenever we go out to eat my and the sever asks where we would like to eat inside or outside my dads like I don’t know my wife is going to have an opinion and she’s not here yet. And when we go on trips my mom usually picks out the restaurants or if someone else picks out the restaurant and she doesn’t like it we have to leave . My dad is undiagnosed on the autism spectrum and is therefore an introvert who doesn’t like to talk . I love my dad but we don’t get to talk at all . My dad comes home watches tv plays his games and eats dinner with us plays games and watches tv some more and then goes to sleep. About my mother crying yes I think she does it for attention and validation but also I think she wants to appear right in every situation so in this situation she thought the right response would be to cry to make her look like a good caring mother even though she may not really be excited for me to be in this program. My dad cried too though and he never cries. My mom still treated my like a child before I was diagnosed but everyone in my family kind of does too because I act and feel like one  but like the my mom does It it worse like I’m stupid. When I was a freshman and I was worried about how different I was from everyone else and how more childish I was then everyone else and how much harder things were for me than other people , my mom pretended there was nothing wrong by saying things like your fine you have nothing to worry about stop saying these things and everyone has a hard time their freshman year and she tried to justify things by telling me stories of her friends daughters who were also having a difficult year. She also would get upset with me for acting like a child . Like I was going to meet some new people my age and she was like please don’t  act like a  two year old in front of them . That’s where I was so confused like when I told her that I felt like a child she said stop you have nothing to worry about and then she criticized me and still does for acting like a child.  I feel bad because it seems like all I say is negative about my mom but I have good times with her too it’s just that her BPD kind of takes over and stands out more than the good times if that makes sense especially now more then ever.

[Kwamina]

My dads usual response to my moms behavior are like four things .

These four responses you describe are quite common, yet might not always be that constructive. Does he respond in any of these 4 ways more often than others? Or do you observe all these 4 response types from him about equally as often?

How does your mother respond when your dad asks her what is wrong with her?

It is really too bad you're not really able to talk to your father due to his own issues. Has your dad ever shown any insights into his own behavior and acknowledged that he too might have certain issues?

My mom still treated my like a child before I was diagnosed but everyone in my family kind of does too because I act and feel like one

In what ways do you feel like a child? What in your behavior do you consider childlike?

I feel bad because it seems like all I say is negative about my mom but I have good times with her too it’s just that her BPD kind of takes over and stands out more than the good times if that makes sense especially now more then ever.

I understand you feeling conflicted, she is still your mom and like you say, there are also good times. But good times which are often alternated with abusive BPD times, probably don't even feel that good anymore. It's hard to be around someone who has been abusive with you so often and so long and continues to behave this way.

[Tillycat]

i think he used to yell and cuss back a lot but now it's more of a mixture.
he now tells my mo that he is no longer going to correct every wrong statement she says. i think she kind of freaks out and gets more upset because that's what usually happens when people have something to say about her to her like criticizing and blaming her for stuff . She gets really upset when my dad criticizes her or corrects her or disagrees with her in front of my sister and I almost as if she is really embarrassed Iv'e told my dad several times how he is on the autism spectrum and the traits/symptoms that shows he is autistic . He has all of five main autistic traits. and my dad was like I agree that I have some traits of autism so maybe I’m a little autistic and I’m like you can’t be only a little autistic you either are autistic or your not. I’m emotionally and mentally like a child .
I feel like an eight year old and a 14 year old combined. I prefer books from the children section usually rather than the teen young /adult section and enjoy them as much as a child would . I sometimes watch children shows for fun . I like skipping . For my 20th birthday all I really wanted was for my parents to take me to a park to play . I still go outside to catch fireflies and collect snails and look for rabbits. I still hold my parents hands . I’m scared of the dark .  I Sleep with a stuffed animal . I still want to have sleepovers and birthday parties. I like playing board games. I get excited overt stuff children would get excited about and I would cry too easily about things only children would cry about . In my freshman year of College I remember crying because my mom and sister went on a walk around the neighborhood with the dogs together and didn’t invite me to come too.
the 14 year old part is the fact that watch things like grey anatomy on Net Flix am a big Taylor Swift fan and enjoy listentening to pop music also I get upset and cry easily when I get hurt like falling down or scrapping my knee there is a good chance that if its bleeding I’m going to cry.

[Kwamina]

Thanks for answering my questions Tillycat

So it seems though your dad has some awareness of his own traits/symptoms indicating he is on the autism spectrum, he at the same time does not seem to fully acknowledge and accept this reality. How did your dad react when you were diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder?

Have you also talked to your therapist about how you in certain ways feel and act like a child? Was this aspect of how you feel and behave perhaps part of why you were diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder? Based on the scientific literature about this disorder, a person's emotional development appears an important factor which is considered.

I can share a little secret with you, the Board Parrot still has all his stuffed animals from childhood safely stored away  Not getting rid of them! Also still enjoy the cartoons I watched as a kid

Thanks for talking so openly about what you're experiencing  You are taking some important steps here by talking about what you're dealing with which I believe can really help you move forward

The Cartoon Loving Board Parrot

[Tillycat]

My dad was fine after I got diagnosed. But getting my parents to agree to let me get Diagnosed was like pulling teeth . My dads like everyone’s different if you are Autistic so what why do you need to get diagnosed what’s that going to do like what’s the point . So you can get government help like disability? My dad was like I don’t want you to have a label . I was relentless and explained things showed him informative videos about the disorder. It also helped when we were out to eat and saw the adult group from the local Autism Society and got to talk to them . Because I guess he saw what I could be a part of once I got diagnosed.
Yes I have talked about my childish self to my therapist and that. The fact that I feel and act like a child a lot and how other people my age were more mature then me was one of the main things that prompted me to figure out what was “wrong “ with me . At first I thought I had Dependent Personality Disorder because of being too dependent on my parents more then other people my age this was because I never really had herd of Autism before and even if I did here about it I probably would not of thought I had it based on how it is portrayed.