We're currently separated and after a couple dances with divorce filings,

[PeaceTrain]

Hi Everybody,

My partner and I have been married going on 14 years.  The last three years have been pure hell for me.  The preceding several years have also been difficult.  We're currently separated and after a couple dances with divorce filings, we *seem* to be turning the ship around.  After a little honeymoon after the last divorce filing, reality sank back in early this week and I get that this is going to be a long row to hoe.  Intellectually, I get that so much of what goes on with my partner is not at all about me, but it is quite a challenge to not internalize it and to practice detachment.  There is no official diagnosis of BPD but my therapist and another friend have both suggested that BPD may be one of the issues my partner is struggling with.  In any case, BPD or not, I contend on a daily basis with many behaviors that are indictative of BPD and I am looking for tools and community.

Thanks

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi PeaceTrain and welcome to the board!  I am glad you found us.  We are all dealing with someone in our lives who has BPD or exhibits traits of the disorder.  Many if not most of us have no definite diagnosis with which to work.  So you are in good company!  

What happened that caused reality to sink in this week?  You are right that it is a long row to hoe but it can be done.  Many people here have improved their situations.  The other good news is that you have this board to work with and many of us have either gone before you or are going through similar struggles.  Reading and posting here can be a great help.  Even posting in other threads helps as you can see some of the dynamics play out... .it is easier to see in other situations.

So I hope you dig in and read and feel free to post in other threads as well as your own.  We all get it here and work together to try to improve our situations.

Good to have you here.