I outgrew my ex

[Cromwell]

Im plagiarising without recalling the source. Someone here said this a long time ago. I didnt understand it.

I looked at her FaceCrap yesterday, more propaganda. The difference is, Ive changed from the person I once was, emotionally.

aversion therapy.

Even in our last contact, the texts - they never had the effect they once did. They would have even less today.

keywords here are; changed - strengthened, matured.

Something along those lines. Ive overcome by out-growing it. She was never the match I believed, but she was more of a match back then.

I look at what she has been up to, and I look at myself, the gulf keeps on widening.

Her replacement is wearing my old hoody.

Is that the best she could do? Probably not. But whatever her best is, each ball coming into my side gets returned, each time, without fail.

next one is due, in 12 months, like an annual flu jab. I didnt look at her FB for that length of time, i can justify 2minutes.

or maybe not. See how the evolution goes. every picture, present, during, prior - a smile laced with pain.

my providing services, halted - the not enough attention should have got as a child; ive penciled in for 12 months.

anyone else out there, changing, growing, getting off the carousal

my posts started about her - evolved to become about me.

Cooking with gas now instead. Im better, detached, not self affirmations.

i wanted better.

far, far better.

Disenchanted  

[Mutt]

Hi Cromwell,

I agree with you that detaching and getting out of the fog will display a different picture a more realistic one of the r/s that you had with your ex? When you’re in it with all of the chaos and drama it’s hard to truly understand where you’re at.

You’re right you have the opportunity to grow and change from your experience whereas it’s near impossible if you’re enotionally immature, emotionally arrested at the young age of a child. That’s a part of the gift of the borderline you can see and compare yourself after the break up and feel the growth and awareness.

I see my ex today in a completely different light and I would have defended myself and said that I was with her out of love. You probably have similar feeelings but she would not be my choice in a partner today, I think that an important thing in life is keep pushing your boundaries don’t settle for one thing keep aspiring to be the best version of yourself that you can and get outside of your comfort zone.