can't count the times...

[Cali.Girl]

... .my husband has ruined holidays, anniversaries and now, again, my birthday. Ashamed to say how many. He gave me the most lovely birthday card, made a great breakfast, but out of control by lunch. I've not spoken to him in two days because he was so out of control. Am crunching thru my new 'Eggshells" book as fast as I emotionally can. (Translation, not very fast.) Not a surprise to me he is a real, live bp. He checks as a "yes" on every point on the bp checklist. What has me unnerved is I've just tumbled to the fact in the last month that my 87 year old mother is bp and definitely narcissistic, plus my father was diagnosed as manic bp in his 80's, may he rest in peace. Not sure if I want to crawl under the covers for a week or run naked down the highway hooting it up because I missed the speeding bp bullet that is all around me. I feel strong, but very much alone in all this. Our son (newly 9 states away) doesn't like drama and prefers to live in Candyland, so I don't burden him. As a result our relationship is on good ground now that I don't share uncomfortable information with him, and I'm ok with that. We've moved to a very rural area because of my health issues and I wouldn't dream of unleashing this bit of gossip for the locals so don't want to share with my new friends. Old friends at our old home town have faded away. Have been thru counseling and marriage counseling thru the years--some helpful, some not. And, can I just say "I told you so" to the psychologist/counselor who assured me husband was not bipolar and what was my problem, really?

Not sure what I'm asking, just trying to ground myself.

(And, I can't figure out for the life of me how to reduce this point size down to a 12 pt?)

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Welcome, Cali.Girl!

I'm so sorry you don't have a good in-person support network around you with whom you can share all this. But this board can be that for you. Many of us are or have been in the same boat. We get it.

Even better, many people here have tools, skills and advice that can help make your life healthier and a little easier.

Can you point to one or two areas that are the most concerning to you right now? The more details you can give us, the more helpful we can be in helping you come up with coping strategies.