stalked and made contact after 2 years

[aman]

after 2 years no contact with my ex, i bumped into her brother in law in a garage.

i am in a new relationship now with a wonderful woman.

 24 hours later my i get messages from 3 different accounts on my instagram and derogatory comments on photos of me and my girlfriend. i answered the messages as indifferently as possible. wishing her and her child all the best. this seemed to enrage her but after an hour the messages stopped. this was at 6am on a monday.

by lunchtime she has found my girlfriends instagram and has messaged her. thats when i seriously lost my cool and rang her brothers business to speak to them. they are aware of her mental health problems and agreed to speak to her. they call back 20 minutes later and state she has told them that someone is impersonating her online. i simply tell them that i will be informing the police.

police where very helpful bearing in mind she has made false harrasment allegations against me 2 years ago but without direct evidence they cannot do anything. all on file in case she contacts us again.

part of me feels vindicated, i kept my cool and did not respond too her accusations about screwing her up etc. i simply wished her well. if it wasnt for messaging my girlfriend, i would have left it at that. but she crossed the line big time.

my girlfriend was very supportive but understandably nervous. we have spoken abuot my past and she is aware of her. i let her read some of the emails we sent towards the end of our relationship.  

[Mutt]

Hi aman,

What a stressful position to be in, you have moved on probably from a horrible breakup from a pwBPD and you’re getting harassed a couple of years later. I would feel anxious is disheartened, you probably already know that BOD is an atta hadn’t disorder and a pwBPD don’t completely detach.

Messaging you from three different accounts telegraphs that she wanted to make sure that you heard what she had to say if she’s cussing and angry at you, no doubt she’s still attached and is hurt, the anger has nothing to do about you it has to do with the disorder, it is misplaced anger.

My ex did something similar once that she found out that I was with my current gf she became very aggressive. Like you I was worried because I found someone and I’m happy in this r/s, I didn’t want to lose her because of my ex. I also shared some emails with her and I let her come to her own conclusions she’s educated, smart and aware and are says my ex is crazy.

My ex’es actions speak for themselves it dependton the audience, for example some people will follow the story in a movie and some of the symbolisation etc while some people are just watching there to watch the eye candy and are not interested for a deeper meaning. That being said it’s not my duty to explain some if the deeper nuances, plus my ex is not diagnosed only a professional can do that if my current gf knows of my exes dysfunctions that’s good enough for me.

You didn’t mention if you told your gf about BPD?

[CryWolf]

Hey Aman, thank you for sharing. I can only imagine the amounts of anxiety Nd stress you currently are going through. How you thought someone left your life but suddenly appears again and might have opened some old wounds or brought bck unwanted memories.

I believe you played it well and didn’t let the situation escalate when under pressure. It’s also cool that your current partner is understanding and on your side.

I know right now is the holidays and during this time my ex would dissociate. We would fight or break up a lot this time. Do you think your ex’s behavior may somewhat be caused by the current time of the year possibly triggering something? Of course this doesn’t justify what she’s doing.