I am fearful she will think of sending her for treatment as abandoment

[Isanni]

I have been researching residential options too (3East continuum of care at McLean's hospital). It is very expensive - 60k!
Although my 15 year old says she hates us and wants to move out - even to a group home (we live in an upscale area in a house where she has her own floor... .), I am fearful she will think of this as abandoment - sending her away for intensive treatment.

Any thoughts?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[StepMonster]

I think the hardest thing about living with a BPD child is coming to terms with the fact that you can't live according to their perceptions. It's like having a puppy. She feels abandoned by default if you leave the room. But you still have to leave the room sometimes. If we could afford inpatient treatment, our DD15 would already be there. She would feel abandoned, just like she does every time we have to admit her, or when my husband goes to work, or we run to the store, or try to have any private conversation.

The good news is, as quickly as you become their demon, you become their angel again.