BPDsister sent gifts to my kids

[k-bliss]

Hi!  It's been a long while since I've been on here, as I've been no contact with my BPD sis for 1.5 years, and it has been really good for me.  However, just today I received a gift and Christmas card addressed to my kids.  This brought up a lot of feelings of guilt and sadness that I thought I'd worked through.  Sometimes I feel so guilty that she doesn't have access to my kids.  I never forbade it, but because we two are not in contact, inevitably she doesn't have contact with the kids.  This is the first time in 1.5 years she's sent something for them.  I'm thinking I'll just have the kids write a thank you card, and that will be that.  But part of me wonders if this is her trying to make inroads into my life, and more contact will be coming.  I'm so much more healthy and happy without her in my life. 

Just thought I'd share!  Not really a question, just didn't know where else to turn.  Thanks!

[Harri]

Hi k-bliss!  It is good you remembered you can always come here even just to chat.

I think having your kids send a thank you card is a good way to handle this.   There are other options but I think that would only cause drama. 

She could be reaching out to you or sending out feelers.  I would leave the ball in her court though.  There is nothing saying you have to accept her back and if she does approach you for more contact you can set the tone from there.  With boundaries of course.  ;)

Have you worked on communication strategies and boundaries when you have had the time away from her? 

[Kwamina]

Hi k-bliss

How are things now and how did Christmas go?

I understand your concerns knowing your sister's past behaviors and it makes sense that you would want to protect this healthier and happier life you have now.

Did you have your kids write your sister a thank you card as you were considering?

The Board Parrot