Untangling My Life

[Jaine]

Hello All,

Good to communicate with people who might understand.

In addition to my adult son's complexities, I have been the caretaker for my elderly parents, and until recently I  had been raising my granddaughter.

Dealing with my son, though I love him, has been like a freight train on a rollercoaster at times. Dizzying, heartstopping, panic ridden, and hopeless.

He is in a treatment facility that supposedly has dual diagnosis capabilities. There is relief in knowing he is in 24/7 care. Yet I remain distressed.

This next few weeks could be an opportunity to create a support system and start a healthier lifestyle.

Thank you for your support.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello, Jaine,
It is good to meet you although I am sorry for the circumstances that bring you here. It can't be easy feeling sort of "sandwiched" between two generations of people who have special needs. Your description of life with your BPD son as a freight train on a roller coaster is perfect. Life with my BPD son is like that too. It is good he is safe in the hospital now. How long do you expect he will be there? While taking care of all these people, I hope you take time out to care for yourself as well. Are you able to do that? You are in the right place for help and support. Whatever you are going through, you are not alone.

[Only Human]

Hello and welcome to the boards, Jaine!

As Faith says, you have come to the right place for the support you are seeking.

This next few weeks could be an opportunity to create a support system and start a healthier lifestyle.

It's great you are taking this time while your DS (dear son) is safe, time to focus on yourself, getting your needs met. I commend you for being proactive, we know it's not easy.

You surely do have a lot going on, "sandwiched," as Faith calls it, is a good description. Are you seeing a Therapist (T)? Many of us find working with a T who specializes in BPD to be very helpful.

There is relief in knowing he is in 24/7 care. Yet I remain distressed.

Oh, Jaine, I do remember feeling this way when my DD25 was hospitalized when she was an adolescent. I only wish I had  bpdfamily to help me back then as I was unprepared for when she came home and we usually ended up right back where we were before she was hospitalized! It doesn't have to be that way, we are all learning together how to improve our situations and I'm glad you've joined us and are sharing your journey with us. There is hope, we want to help.

What led to your son's hospitalization? Are you in contact with him? Does the hospital offer family services like joint therapy sessions?

Sorry for all the questions - knowing more helps us get a broader picture so we know how to best support you.

I hope to hear more from you as you feel comfortable, this is a safe place - we've got you!

~ OH