Hi and welcome
I have started standing up to him more and that only seems to make things worse.
Changing the way we respond to something will often take time to become familiar and part of the routine. He could be reacting as you are no longer being predictable. Can you describe how you have been standing up to him? The more detail you give the better we can help you trouble shoot or tweak things a bit.
I would like to get counseling, but he refuses. I'm not sure what to do.
Well, posting here is a great decision for you! We get it here and many of our members have been or are going through similar and can help you. Some members also get therapy for their self. It is a great source of support and where you can learn about yourself.
I am glad you decided to post and reach out for help.
