What does it mean?

[Parents! Get help here!]

My daughter is 19. Her dad and I are married to eachother but we are on different pages when it comes to parenting styles. We don’t talk about the diagnosis. We don’t talk about much else either. It feels lonely and scarry. I worry about the future. Will my daughter get better? Will things settle for her so she can cope with the university program? Will she be able to have and keep a job, be independent,  have a fullfilling relationship?
I am trying to learn about BPD and get some support, especially an Opportunity to talk to someone who understands and will not dismiss my feelings.

[Mama D]

My daughter is 19. Her dad and I are married to eachother but we are on different pages when it comes to parenting styles. We don’t talk about the diagnosis. We don’t talk about much else either. It feels lonely and scarry. I worry about the future. Will my daughter get better? Will things settle for her so she can cope with the university program? Will she be able to have and keep a job, be independent,  have a fullfilling relationship?
I am trying to learn about BPD and get some support, especially an Opportunity to talk to someone who understands and will not dismiss my feelings.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Resiliant]

Hi Mama D,

I understand what it is like to have an adult child with BPD, and struggle with opposing parenting styles.   

My choice was to learn all that I could by reading books and joining this site so that I can know that I am doing the best that I can with the most tools that I can find.  My husband doesn't understand it but I don't fight with him about it.   It's too overwhelming for him, I don't think that I could ever get him to learn all this stuff so I give him really small doses.  Dealing with BPD can be exhausting!   We are now at the stage where he (my husband) at least understands that I know what I am talking about and he backs off with his opinions.  Mostly   

I believe that there is hope for your daughter.  I believe that with the right emotional support she can go on to live the independent life that you hope for her.  We are here to listen. 

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi MamaD
I join Resilient in warmly welcoming you to the group. We are glad you are here and also sad for what brings you here. This is a great place to find the information and support you need. Your worries about your daughter are understandable but  things can get better. There is a lot you can do to help. Have you had a chance to look around this website, see a few videos, and read some articles? What would you like to learn about first? I may be able to direct you to the information you need.

My husband and I were also somewhat at odds with one another about how to parent our 25 year old BPD son. But over time, with therapy, we became a better team. Do you think some kind of couples therapy might help you two as well?

We are all with you
Hugs
Faith