Problems with my sister

[Wersdy87]

Hello, I would first like to make it very clear that my sister is an incredible person. She is beautiful and loving and I look up to her is many ways; however, her awesomeness is often shadowed by her borderline personality disorder. Since before I can remember I’ve never been able to talk freely with her. She always yells and then claims she’s not upset or blames me for the entire situation. I have depression and social anxiety disorder, this makes it even more difficult to be around someone who is constantly criticizing me. She terrifies me, because every time I am around her she makes me feel worse about myself. I’ve tried to read about borderline and do some research but everything I learn gives me less hope. Will she ever be able to find happiness? Will she be able to find love? Will her entire life be endless cycles in and out of the mental hospital for attempted suicide? I love her too much to watch her go through that hell. Please tell me what I can do for her?

[KoaPup]

Hi Wersdy,

Part of me wants to say that I didn't know my sister had another sister, at least with the blaming of others/you. Another part wants to just give you a big hug. I know I can feel exhausted lately with my sister's antics. It sounds like you probably are exhausted/overwhelmed by your sister's, too.

I'm new here too, and my sister hasn't been diagnosed. I just thought she was self-centered and a perpetual victim. Anyway, what I've seen on here a lot is the suggestions for having boundaries and also for our own self care. We're in no position to help our sig. others/family if we're running on empty ourselves.

I know I was chasing my own tail for a few days, about how can she (my sister) think I did anything to wrong her etc. etc. etc. Coming here was when I hit the light switch that was right in front of me, and the lights are on now. I can see now that her drama is hers. I don't (have to) own it. I have no "dog in that fight". It seems the more I try to explain/rationalize how my actions have nothing to do with her, the further she digs in and tries harder to drag me down, down, down. As someone has said, possibly again and again here, the actions of our loved ones are very similar here. Just the names are different.

I don't know...it's just good to find people who "get it". *I* don't feel so crazy now.  All that to say, it's not you. It may help to also reach out to take care of you--I restarted taking 50 mg of Zoloft (day 3) and it's helped me with letting go of the intrusive/obsessional thoughts that were absorbing my time.

hth some.