In need of supportive community

[JDpage]

Hi, I am looking for support with my relationship with a partner who has BPD. We are queer and poly.  I am working on my own codependency patterns that have been brought to light through the BPD dynamic.  In particular my partner feels that my ask for them to do DBT as a condition for our relationship to continue, move across country and build a family, as controlling and managing. We have been together for 4 years and it took almost three for them to finally seek therapy and a diagnosis after me asking and demanding it or else we would break up.  I want to better support them but I have a lot of Resentment for past issues between us that I am working to let go of.  I am working to trust them to center their own care.  I am working on caring for myself.  Any thoughts / support / resource suggestions would be appreciated.  Looking for a potential group supper for BPD in Southern California. Thanks.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Hi JDpage! Welcome!

You've come to the right place. BPD is not an easy disorder to understand, but we get it here. We support and advise each other as much as we can and we can do that for you.

It's natural to have some resentment.

It sounds like you're working on the right things.

Have you read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells? Or read the articles tabbed at the top of the page? There's a lot of great information there.

It can be overwhelming, though, so we can help you break it into bite-sized pieces.

If you had to point to one aspect of your relationship that causes the most trouble, what would it be? Can you give a detailed example? (Details help us know better what tools may be most helpful to you.)