My best friend has BPD

[zoomies]

Hi everyone,

I couldn't find a group for friends of BPD's... so I hope it's ok to post this here. Friendships are intimate relationships too. She is pretty much like family to me.


One of my best friends was diagnosed by 2 different psychiatrists with BPD. I believe she is on the lower end of the spectrum, which she was also told by a professional.

She is a great friend. We have had minimal ups and downs, nothing major. She can get into some pretty dark moods at times, but she has gotten more mindful about it, even pokes fun at herself when it happens, and recovers quicker from them compared to before. She’s done a lot of work on herself and I am so proud. Her last relationship with a sociopath was her rock bottom, and she realized she had some major work do to on herself.

We also work together. She is a great coworker; a lot of fun, hard working, and everyone loves her. I find it interesting to watch her interactions with others since I am aware of her diagnosis. Especially our male coworkers. All of them seem to have a crush on her on some level, I have caught one guy stop and stare at her a few times when she is around. She is a head turner. Honestly though there are some very pretty girls we work with which are more physically attractive than her. But she has the whole package. The charming, flirty personality. She is friendly, outgoing, and downright alluring. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a cute little mischievous smirk on her face all the time. I am a married straight female and even I have felt like I was in a trance around her a few times. It’s not a crush, but a strange pull towards her. Everyone thinks she is beautiful, I hear them say it all the time. Numerous times I have seen the males make excuses to talk to her or be around her.

I get a little jealous of all the attention she gets, not to the point I let it ruin my day. Or our friendship! And this is not the point of this post! And I get why it happens. I guess I am just wondering if she is aware of how she comes across to others, and if she does it on purpose to manipulate for whatever reason, or if it is a learned behaviour and she really isn’t aware… the charming and flirty ways. Her alluring demeanor. I have commented on it and she states she is not aware she is like that. She has even said it is her downfall, that a lot of this attention she gets makes her uncomfortable at times. And I have seen her frustration after interactions with customers and coworkers after they act flirty, awkward or just downright stalker-ish. Do I believe that too?

Just trying to understand my friend better. And coworkers. Lol.

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