Daughter BPD

[DireWolf]

I’m new here. My daughter is 22. She just graduated from university. She has struggled with her mental health since she was about 11. Nothing seems to change. She is chronically suicidal and desperately unhappy to be alive. We are lucky in that she has a good relationship with us and has some very close friends. It is very difficult to be around her because of her dark moods, pessimism, and bleak outlook. This should be the best part of her life. The world is truly her oyster. She can go anywhere in the world and pursue anything she puts her mind to. Unfortunately, she seemingly prefers Staying tucked away in her apartment, focusing in all the negative aspects of her life. I often have really good conversations with her. I have changed her thinking around to the positive. Bit inevitably she reverts back to wanting to kill herself. She ALWAYS says, “I want to die. I want to kill myself. I hate being alive.” I am wondering how you all deal with the chronic suicidal Thoughts of your child.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello DireWolf, welcome.

More than likely you spent some on this website before you finally signed on and picked your nom-de-plume.  Once again, I welcome you.

I do remember going through an episode with our daughter when I feared she would take her life.  This was happening during a phone call with her in another location...me at my home alone with the phone at my ear, her new born child in my arms.  Thank God I had the child.  Thank God the unthinkable didn't happen but never will I forget the fear I felt.  In that respect, I relate to some of what you are living through...but certainly not all.  To have this happening for so long must be so draining...so heart-breaking...such a feeling of helplessness.

I am wondering...has your daughter received the diagnosis of having BPD?  Has she had counselling?  Have you ever gone into counselling yourself to find ways to better deal with her and her problems?

None of our stories are exactly like others here but more often than not there are similarities.  During more normal times there would have more replies to your post.  Of course, these are not "normal" times.  I urge you to continue on with sharing your story and I urge you to reach out to others who, like you, are in the need of a life-line.

A ((HUG) to you, DireWolf.

Huat