Sudden reversal - conflicted

[Depression = 72% of members]

Has anyone else had their BPD suddenly leave? leaving everything hanging?

My husband is of retirement age but truthfully he is in no place to retire. He had been in his last job about 6 years when literally all of sudden quit without warning. Because he was due 2 weeks vacation he considered that his 2 week notice. Rather cowardly he stripped his office of his belongings over a holiday and informed me he was moving to Canada for a job he was starting in 3 weeks.  No warning, had claimed he wasn't taking the job up there, just packed a few belongings and poof was gone leaving me to deal with the house, his hoards of "stuff", all the responsibilities.

He has been up there for a year and a half. Having never lived alone prior to this it was pretty shocking to me that he would do this. Only later did I find out that he was on the verge of getting fired. Now he expect us to continue this marriage according to his rules and decisions. Despite the relief that I have not being caught up in his rollercoaster and walking on eggshells all the time, I am not ready to have to end this. I suspect that with the border closed it has given him the freedom of feeling that no one will know what he does...and yes, I suspect that even if he isn't having a physical affair I believe there is something brewing with someone else.   Any suggestions?

I feel like I should just turn and walk away but so much easier said than done.

[nomadPNW]

Has anyone else had their BPD suddenly leave? leaving everything hanging?

My husband is of retirement age but truthfully he is in no place to retire. He had been in his last job about 6 years when literally all of sudden quit without warning. Because he was due 2 weeks vacation he considered that his 2 week notice. Rather cowardly he stripped his office of his belongings over a holiday and informed me he was moving to Canada for a job he was starting in 3 weeks.  No warning, had claimed he wasn't taking the job up there, just packed a few belongings and poof was gone leaving me to deal with the house, his hoards of "stuff", all the responsibilities.

He has been up there for a year and a half. Having never lived alone prior to this it was pretty shocking to me that he would do this. Only later did I find out that he was on the verge of getting fired. Now he expect us to continue this marriage according to his rules and decisions. Despite the relief that I have not being caught up in his rollercoaster and walking on eggshells all the time, I am not ready to have to end this. I suspect that with the border closed it has given him the freedom of feeling that no one will know what he does...and yes, I suspect that even if he isn't having a physical affair I believe there is something brewing with someone else.   Any suggestions?

I feel like I should just turn and walk away but so much easier said than done.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Goosey]

   Oh well. 
That’s what I say to myself a lot every day now that my marriage is ending after decades of “waiting for the next shoe to drop”.
Oh well. 
    I can’t change it. I can only accept it and work on myself. Regain my self respect and sense of worth.
We all deserves to be happy. I know that’s an Alien concept.
A few times friends have asked. When is the last time you where truly happy?  I just would look at them blankly. I honestly don’t know. Maybe when my 21 year old daughter was born? 
It’s got to be out there. We can all find out inner happiness again I pray.