How do you start to care again?

[99bio06]

Married to my so for 25 years and together for 31.

He has started seeing and EMDR therapist this year and is improving a little, but I find myself in the position that I really just don’t care anymore. Things will improve and then go off the rails. I hesitate to have loving feelings again because the cycle will just continue and sometimes find myself not even wanting to put in the effort.

How do you actually start caring for the person again if they are improving?  Or even care about doing validating?  I just avoid him as much as possible because I do not want any conflicts and just don’t have the energy to put into this anymore. Deep down I want to ... but not sure I have any strength left after years of fighting and being verbally abused 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jay763]

HI, I know it's taxing but taking time a part from each other helps too. If you can try and do that, it seems to keep burn out at bay.

Hope that helps.