Its been awhile since I've been here...

[Starrynite]

Hi Everyone,
It's been awhile since I've been here. about 7 years ago I cut off my BPD sister. My aunt and uncle recently talked me into getting into contact with her again. So I did. My sister reached out first, I responded saying okay, lets have contact but through email only. I messaged that to her on Sunday and have yet to receive a message back.

I'm wondering, have any of you reconnected with success? Or is it the same old abuse and crap again and again. I'm cautiously hopeful but would love to hear if you've had success...or not.

Thank you for reading.

[Turkish]

As we say here, "the ball's in her court."

If she doesn't respond, you did the right thing.  Her serve now. 

[GaGrl]

While waiting to see if you hear from her, can you decide what your boundaries will be for continued contact? You've started with email contact. Do you expect her to push boundaries? If so, can you decide on your action(s)?

[Starrynite]

At this point I only want email. If it goes well for awhile then maybe I'd see her in person. I don't even know what my boundaries would be...definitely keep her at arms length. I don't want her knowing where live...I think I'm scared...of what I'm not sure...it was just SO stressful having her in my life.
I have tween daughter I'm also trying to protect.

[GeekyGirl]

Hi Starrynite,

I really like that you've thought ahead and determined some boundaries you're comfortable with (e-mail vs.  in-person or over the phone). It's easier to deal with whatever comes your way when you've reflected on what could happen and how you'll react.

What would happen if your sister doesn't respond? What will you do if she wants to meet in person rather than stick to e-mail communication?

I think I'm scared...of what I'm not sure...it was just SO stressful having her in my life.

I get why you'd want some space to protect yourself and your daughter. Keep us posted on how you're doing.