First Post

[Arcane Mayne]

Hello,
This is my (ostensibly obligatory) first post. I was referred to this message board after seeking a recommendation from a dear friend of mine whom I know was in a fairly serious, several years long romantic relationship with a fellow with BPD. I have been with my partner whom I love very much for 2 - 2  1/2 years, we have shared a house together and have been attempting to build a life together for that amount time. We are both artists working within two pretty different, separate fields, but have our respective backgrounds in and share a deep, singular, life-guiding passion for fine art. When I met her she had no awareness that she may be afflicted with borderline personality disorder, though (because I was tangentially familiar with it through a couple [platonic, male] friends and the aforementioned male partner of my good female friend) I suspected she has BPD since pretty early on in our relationship, though I -never- shared this with her. Eventually (about a year and some change ago) she independently came to the conclusion that she probably has BPD. I was extremely glad and relieved and encouraged by her insight and we talked at an extensive length about it, our relationship, and how, now equipped with this new information (knowledge as power, self-knowledge being perhaps the most valuable version of the indispensable power of knowledge) we could more successfully guide the course of our relationship and eliminate the destructive, toxic, ultimately (seemingly) superfluous aspects and habits which had (more or less) plagued us since the early times. Of course, taking about this and actually executing and implementing the ideas and strategies she or I or us together would come up with has proven extremely difficult and erratic, though I do believe a lot of progress has been made. Consistency is typically (eternally? Frustratingly, for sure) out of reach.
As I'm sure is common if not universal she is a very, very complex person. I truly love her. Her character, her values, her personality and especially her wonderful, complex, twisted and labyrinthine mind, despite how much turmoil it seems to generate for her and us. I could write much more and I'm sure if I stay here, will. At this time however I hope this suffices, as before doing so I'd believe it to be wise, and would now just like to, explore and peruse this forum. I am looking for insight and guidance and help. And support. For myself. And for my relationship. It is the most important thing to me. But it has been extremely challenging. And I need to know all that I can and do all that I can to help sustain it and ultimately thrive, I can't simply give up on out without giving it all of that which I can, out of love and devotion to my partner and in the pursuit of my vision for my life as well as the vision we share for ourselves and one another.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.