My fiancé broke off the engagement

[AVOWUN]

It’s been 2 months now that my live in girlfriend broke off the engage separated herself from me by moving into another bedroom in my home, she states she just wants to be friends an is looking for another place to live. I still to this moment deeply love her but she does not want me to verbalize those thoughts an instead wants  only surface communication . I respect all her boundaries . She wants nothing physical from me anymore an so I honor that as well. I don’t ask her to pay any rent an encourage her to stay as long as she wants. Their is little or no communication an if there is it’s surface level which she enjoys the most avoiding any topics concerning us getting back together again. She broke off the engagement because she said I was financially, mentally an emotionally abusive. I would spend hours communicating my unfiltered thoughts regarding my feelings, my insecurities an trust issues with her. She found this verbally abusive. I stopped after she moved out of our bedroom into another bedroom in my home. I no longer tell her the hurtful feelings I experience when she belittles me or tells me how wrong I am for voting Republican . Just one example of the many arguments we had. I feel so much for her an want so much for her to come back to me , it hurts a lot. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

ouch.

im glad you found us, AVOWUN.

when youre trying to reverse a breakup, its a good move not to chase or smother the other person. if someone has suggested they want to break up, trying to have a conversation about it only pushes them away.

do i have it right that youre open to her staying at your place? do you know how her search for another place is going?

[maxsterling]

Wow.  That has to be rough having her still in your home like that but not being together.

How long have you known her?  How long has she lived with you?  I assume this is your house that you own and you invited her to move in?  How long have you been engaged, and did you have a wedding date/plans?  Has she been diagnosed BPD?

The political divide is a rough one right now.  I am guessing that is behind many of her feelings towards you right now.  pwBPD think in black and white - no gray.  I say this because my BPDW had a friend for a few years of a different political persuasion.  W could not get over it even though the friend did her best to keep politics out of the equation.  A month ago, W eventually blew up at her over it, in a very mean way.  To W, she saw no redeeming qualities in this person because of the way she voted.  Very sad.