I think you have about "80% of it".
Understanding the new path is a journey...not just one post. As you put it into action, you can make it yours. It WILL feel weird for a long time...that's ok.
Yes, action is top priority. It feels good to be making small steps daily.
I'm a words guy (not sure yet if you are...)
What is the difference in "desire"
compared to
"allow"?
"This is what I will "allow" in my life, conversations..relationships...etc etc"
Furthermore...I don't recommend you say that (although there may come a time).
I'm more interested that you BELIEVE it...at a core..fundamental level.
I'm also a words guy.
Yeah, allow is less wishy washy than desire. Allow has more conviction and self confidence!
So true about BELIEF. Yes! That's what I'm trying to capture, the deep living it out, operating from it, and experiencing the life that comes out of it.
Then...go back to the breezy and light thing for how to communicate this.
"Wait..babe? what? Are you suggesting you want me to sit still and listen to someone call me names" (hopefully you picked up on "someone" instead to "you")
Tell you what...I'll end this for now with a question to ponder.
Why on earth would FF have used "someone" instead of "you"?
Best,
FF
I see, breezy and light. I see what you mean. It kind of echoes that self confidence, easy going but self assured thing... There also seems to be a touch of humour in it too.
I suppose "you" is more likely to arouse resistance and defensiveness in my pwBPD who is already on the edge. "someone" is less inflammatory and keeps things impersonal. I suppose it also indicates that this is about personal life choices across the board rather than solely about her.
It went really well tonight. All the usual potential hooks were thrown out there but i was clear about my limits without over explaining... The limit setting got down to the level of avoiding being on the receiving end of all blame... Also used some empathy to acknowledge her feelings but made it clear that I'm not sitting around to be told a bunch of negative things about myself. It really worked. What was best? I came to bed at 2145! I noticed her resistance which in the past I've been controlled by... She wants to talk and talk into the night... Tonight I just reasserted that I'm tired and it's my time to go to bed
I'll work on capturing the breezy and light approach.. Bit by bit
