my confusion each outbreak by daughter

[Billydawn4]

About 5 years ago I sought help of a therapist about my daughter's  intermittent outbursts, blaming me for her problems and that I had not been a good mother.  (I am 88, she is 60).   From my description of her behavior, the therapist suggested that my daughter has BPD.
I have read "Stop Walking on Eggshells", read material online, (Robin Kissell, Randi Kreger, Marsha Linehan, Lisa Logan).  In spite of all of this information, I become full of despair each time my daughter has another outburst, blaming me for her unhappiness.  This happens about every  months.  I guess I just don't know how to stand up for myself.  I think I have  been a very attentive, loving, caring mother.

I'm weary of crucifying myself and feel sorry for her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

  Thank you for adding us to your network of support in addition to therapy. We understand  and you are not alone.  Good for you in recognizing you are as important as your ill daughter .  When the BPD/ undiagnosed BPD person does their "word vomit" it is searing to the heart .  Can you discuss with your therapist on small boundaries you can place on your daughter?  If she is doing this via phone, you could possibly set a boundary on what time(s) of day/ week/ month you will be available to talk and if she becomes verbally aggressive you will hang up.  Or some such.  Does your daughter live with you?