6 years no contact and the email I want to send my ex-wife

[Depression = 72% of members]

I think about you every day. It's not that I need you. It's more like I haven't found anyone as attractive to me as I had found you. Your smile, elbrow raise, ________ that drove me wild. Making you laugh, did I ever love making you laugh. I still hear your laugh as my mind plays a new memory we will never have in the physical sense. So wild you left. To someone that has made you happier. Soo wild, I am happy you found someone. I am thankful I met someone that made me happy. It may of not always looked like it to you, but I was truely happy, as I am right now. Life makes me happy. You knew I was in it, thick or thin, broken or fixed. I truely loved you. You are a different person now and I have accepted that. I am thankful I had the person you were for part of my life. I am a different person too. I enjoy picking apart the financial world. A financial technician persay. I also enjoy my airplane job. Victoria is truely breathtaking. I get to walk around this island everyday and then fly over it. I have everything mentally I want from life, except the feeling I got when I was with you. I may feel that again, or not, but I am thankful.  I just wanted to tell you all that. Time does not necessarily mean forget, nor does it mean I regret absolutely anything. You may hate me, but you make every choice in your life. I am happy with a lot of my choices. You were one of them. I wish I was worth your time to tell me what I meant to you. Am I like one of those girls I have been with but forgotten? Or was I part of your life that is hard to shake memories of? You don't have to answer that. Haha. Your choice.

[Ren12]

I think about you every day. It's not that I need you. It's more like I haven't found anyone as attractive to me as I had found you. Your smile, elbrow raise, ________ that drove me wild. Making you laugh, did I ever love making you laugh. I still hear your laugh as my mind plays a new memory we will never have in the physical sense. So wild you left. To someone that has made you happier. Soo wild, I am happy you found someone. I am thankful I met someone that made me happy. It may of not always looked like it to you, but I was truely happy, as I am right now. Life makes me happy. You knew I was in it, thick or thin, broken or fixed. I truely loved you. You are a different person now and I have accepted that. I am thankful I had the person you were for part of my life. I am a different person too. I enjoy picking apart the financial world. A financial technician persay. I also enjoy my airplane job. Victoria is truely breathtaking. I get to walk around this island everyday and then fly over it. I have everything mentally I want from life, except the feeling I got when I was with you. I may feel that again, or not, but I am thankful.  I just wanted to tell you all that. Time does not necessarily mean forget, nor does it mean I regret absolutely anything. You may hate me, but you make every choice in your life. I am happy with a lot of my choices. You were one of them. I wish I was worth your time to tell me what I meant to you. Am I like one of those girls I have been with but forgotten? Or was I part of your life that is hard to shake memories of? You don't have to answer that. Haha. Your choice.

[Sappho11]

What kind of answer are you hoping for? Why?

What about the woman who's made you happy since?

[brighter future]

I wrote a similar letter to my uBPD ex-g/f of almost two years about 6 weeks after our breakup. My letter contained similar feelings that you stated in your post above. We've been broken up for just over 14 months now.

Perhaps my biggest question was how could I go from being her everything, the man of her dreams to someone that "dragged her down" virtually overnight. I asked her that question in the days following the breakup (before I wrote the letter), and she couldn't answer me. All I got from her was, "I can't answer that. I don't have the energy for that and can't answer any questions." After several months of self-reflection and counseling, I began to accept the fact that I was never going to get any closure from her. My closure had to come from within. I never mailed that letter to her that I just told you about because I realized that sending it would make no difference in the outcome. However, I will say that writing the letter was very therapeutic for me as it allowed me to get all of those feelings out of my head. I threw away the hard copy that I printed out not that long ago. The electronic copy is still saved on my computer, and I'm almost at the point where I'm ready to let that go as well.

Best wishes on what you decide to do, and I hope you get the closure that you're looking for.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Ren12, Does your Ex suffer from BPD?  It's hard to tell from your post.

Presumably you parted ways and ended your marriage for good reasons.  What are the reasons?

As brighter future suggests, I recommend putting that email on the back burner without sending it.

Six years is a long period of N/C.  As Sappho asks, what are you hoping to accomplish if you decide to send it out?

LuckyJim