Trying not to leave my boyfriend

[Summerrose1979]

Hi. I'm new to the group and having an extremely hard time in my relationship. My boyfriend is a horrible communicator and it seems like he loves arguing about everything and doesn't take accountability for anything. He either deflects or makes excuses for his actions. It seems like he is a compulsive liar wether it be little white lies or big ones and he continues to lie even when he gets caught in a lie thinking he can save himself when he can't. Every time I ask him a question I never get a simple answer. It's almost like pulling teeth just to get a simple yes or no response. Simple discussions that should only last a minute turn into long drawn out arguments because of his lack of communication. I know he's a good person underneath and that's why I haven't left him yet but I'm absolutely miserable and totally drained.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

hey, welcome -- you're in the right place.

The "communication" you've described sounds really familiar, and really frustrating. It's no wonder you're so drained and exhausted; anyone would be, dealing with that chaos and confusion.

Plenty of members here have chosen to stay in relationships with pwBPD (people with BPD). Sounds like that's where you're at right now. Thankfully, you can learn some new, different tools and skills -- that are often very, very counterintuitive -- that YOU can implement, and that can change the dynamic between you and your BF.

Does he tend to lie/argue about certain topics? Or is anything "fair game"?

Being in a relationship with a pwBPD takes an extra large helping of personal stability, emotional leadership, and self care. Are there some things you do for fun, or to relax, or as a hobby? Ways you take care of you?

Again, welcome, and post whenever works for you;

kells76