My girlfriend won’t speak to me - it has been 4 days

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hey guys,

I would really appreciate some input.

I’m dating a girl who has BPD, we are in a lesbian relationship.
We tried to introduce our pups and they had an altercation (neither were harmed and it was very brief)  and since that happened she won’t speak to me. She said it’s because the altercation made her think 1. We may never be able to live together and 2. My dogs behaviour is a reflection of me
With that in mind I genuinely can’t tell if there was something else that happened and the dogs are her scapegoat into ignoring me? Perhaps the dog fight made her split me?
I’m using dog fight very loosely it was two dogs trying to be dominant.

But I just can’t get her to speak to me to even almost sort anything out. I am very okay with giving space, being in a relationship with someone borderline I’m aware the space will be necessary sometimes. But the no communication at all is really kicking me in the gut and I don’t feel like I’m important enough to her for any kind of effort.

How should I handle this situation?
I don’t want to impose on her boundaries. I’m also not a child and am gonna okay the ignore her back game. I still want her to know she is safe and loved.

Thanks in advance!

[Pathsofglory]

Hey guys,

I would really appreciate some input.

I’m dating a girl who has BPD, we are in a lesbian relationship.
We tried to introduce our pups and they had an altercation (neither were harmed and it was very brief)  and since that happened she won’t speak to me. She said it’s because the altercation made her think 1. We may never be able to live together and 2. My dogs behaviour is a reflection of me
With that in mind I genuinely can’t tell if there was something else that happened and the dogs are her scapegoat into ignoring me? Perhaps the dog fight made her split me?
I’m using dog fight very loosely it was two dogs trying to be dominant.

But I just can’t get her to speak to me to even almost sort anything out. I am very okay with giving space, being in a relationship with someone borderline I’m aware the space will be necessary sometimes. But the no communication at all is really kicking me in the gut and I don’t feel like I’m important enough to her for any kind of effort.

How should I handle this situation?
I don’t want to impose on her boundaries. I’m also not a child and am gonna okay the ignore her back game. I still want her to know she is safe and loved.

Thanks in advance!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

She may be hesitant about moving the relationship forward. Living together is a big step for people with BPD.

As difficult as it may be for you, give her space and let her approach you. Otherwise you could set up a dynamic where you are chasing and she is retreating.

[once removed]

how did this go down, exactly?

i get the gist of it. the dogs did not get along. she stated why this bothered her.

how did it play out at the time? have you tried to reach out and shes just not responding?