Feeling lost, confused

[MtlGirl]

Hi,

My partner was recently diagnosed by a medical professional with BPD. I feel lost and how to help. One minute, it's a love you and the next I'm made to feel guilty then it's I'm sorry. I am so confused and never sure what the right thing is to say.

Does any else experience this with a BPD partner? Can you share ways to deal with the mixed messages.

Thanks,
MG

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Scarredheart]

Hi,

My partner was recently diagnosed by a medical professional with BPD. I feel lost and how to help. One minute, it's a love you and the next I'm made to feel guilty then it's I'm sorry. I am so confused and never sure what the right thing is to say.

Does any else experience this with a BPD partner? Can you share ways to deal with the mixed messages.

Thanks,
MG

Welcome.

It depends on if your partner is going to go for treatment (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy). If the answer is yes, do what you can to help your partner during the long process of treatment, but a lot of it is going to be entirely dependent on your partner. It's a lot of work and can a lot of time (upwards of ten years sometimes).

If your partner is not seeking treatment, then there's not much you can do. Untreated BPDs cannot be fixed by anyone but themselves.

[Cr500rider]

I just parted way from my undiagnosed wife and I will tell u now,  she chewed me up and spit me up for 5 very long miserable years.  It’s a slow and painful death for the partner and I’m not exaggerating!  I feel like I just got run over by a train and still trying to figure out what happened.

[Scarredheart]

I just parted way from my undiagnosed wife and I will tell u now,  she chewed me up and spit me up for 5 very long miserable years.  It’s a slow and painful death for the partner and I’m not exaggerating!  I feel like I just got run over by a train and still trying to figure out what happened.

10 years here. Same story. You'll never figure it all out or get complete closure. Accept that and move forward. You'll save yourself a lot of pain.