Is this typical?

[SheeshP]

My husband gets really upset when he thinks I'm not taking care of myself, physically. If I skip a meal, he gets really upset. Is that typical for BPD?

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[Cat Familiar]

I wouldn’t say that is typical of BPD as there are so many behavioral variations. It does sound like over-enmeshment and not good boundaries, which is often a codependency issue.

What happens when he gets upset?

[SheeshP]

He lectures and scolds me like I'm a child. He doesn't yell at me, but he is obviously frustrated.

[Cat Familiar]

What do you do when he lectures and scolds you?

[Chosen]

My husband gets really upset when he thinks I'm not taking care of myself, physically. If I skip a meal, he gets really upset. Is that typical for BPD?

This is typical for me.  When I do something that he doesn't think is "in line" with his idea of health, my uBPDh would lecture me like I'm his child too.  I think it's mainly because he doesn't have the ability to see beyond his own ideas.  For example, he thinks I should sleep earlier so I get more rest, which is true.  But for me, sometimes I want to sleep later because I want to finish some stuff at home so I can sleep in peace; otherwise I would go to sleep anxious.  I think it's not exactly that he wants to control me, but more like he is unable to see why me going to bed anxious would be worse than me going to bed late.

[AvaGrace]

My wife does this exact same thing.  If I am too busy to eat lunch her tone changes and she explains to me how me not taking care of myself makes her upset.  She also becomes angry when other people treat me unfairly...and then expects me to help her feel less angry. I feel lost.  Does a person even care, let alone love you, when they do these types of things?

[judee]

Reading your post and the replies for the first time gave a word to what I experienced with my ex BPD ( diagnosed)  as well..
Overenmeshment.
I experienced the  same thing as what you describe.. ! he could get seriously upset and angry if I didn't eat , drink  according to what he thought I should do. ( opposite here: I eat very healthy and he not so much , but he still seemed to know what is better for me) Still he would shake his head or even sulk in silence.. like my body wasn't even mine to decide on.
Later it spilled over in other areas of my life too.
It felt like ultimately controlling and suffocating.
He had issues in other places with it too..if I come to think of it the core to a lot of the conflicts( law suits)  in his working life.