My husband and I have been together for 6 years and have 2 children together. I also have a child from a previous marriage.
We have had a relationship very typical of what I now can recognize as BPD influenced... trouble is I feel like its on both sides showing the signs and symptoms from both of us.
My husband has recently realized that he has an issue that he has researched into and feels is definitely BPD however I also feel like I have certain traits of it also.
Is this possible? And potentially why we have so many issues?
Thank you to this website and everyone helping those that are suffering.
Perhaps lean into:
(1) You both believe there is an underlying personality disorder or something warranting therapy.
(2) Don't get hung up on the "what it is" but understand you realize you have "many issues."
(3) Work together to fix them.
(4) Enlist the help of professionals to (a) give a "name" to what you may individually suffering from and (b) learn skillsets and tools to alleviate the situation.
I wish I did that with my STBXW. I fell into the trap of shifting blame to her instead of treating her underlying condition with empathy and/or sympathy. I should have initiated change, at the very least it would have set boundaries and it would have showed her a self improvement journey. Both would have likely led to a healthier overall relationship or closure that it would have never worked.
