Ending a toxic relationship after being diagnosed

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Hello
I’m new here, it’s my first post.
I was dating someone on/off for a year and a half.
He kept telling me he didn’t want a relationship but yet it was like one but not really.
We didn’t really go out much, took a trip once, all ending in disasters. We always argued.
Every time we would break up he would text me that I’m toxic and leave him alone. It happened again.
I tried to let go so many times but always came running back, usually because I contacted him.
It was so many mind games.
Anyway, it’s time to let go. I know this.
Having been diagnosed makes sense because I relate to all of it especially unstable relationships.
I didn’t talk to him for 5 months and this last time ended the same way it always does, me being hurt and him blocking me and acting like I’m non existent.
I’m tired of feeling this way because I always felt we were almost there, to be in a relationship.
Now I’m left alone and hurt again.
I know it’s toxic but he always called me crazy and that I can never be with anyone.
Saying this and leaving me through silent treatment really sucks and it hurts. I probably will never hear from him again as I sense he moved in while using me in the he process.
Has anyone related to this? I need help to push past this once and for all so I can move on too.

[Gypsy163]

Hello
I’m new here, it’s my first post.
I was dating someone on/off for a year and a half.
He kept telling me he didn’t want a relationship but yet it was like one but not really.
We didn’t really go out much, took a trip once, all ending in disasters. We always argued.
Every time we would break up he would text me that I’m toxic and leave him alone. It happened again.
I tried to let go so many times but always came running back, usually because I contacted him.
It was so many mind games.
Anyway, it’s time to let go. I know this.
Having been diagnosed makes sense because I relate to all of it especially unstable relationships.
I didn’t talk to him for 5 months and this last time ended the same way it always does, me being hurt and him blocking me and acting like I’m non existent.
I’m tired of feeling this way because I always felt we were almost there, to be in a relationship.
Now I’m left alone and hurt again.
I know it’s toxic but he always called me crazy and that I can never be with anyone.
Saying this and leaving me through silent treatment really sucks and it hurts. I probably will never hear from him again as I sense he moved in while using me in the he process.
Has anyone related to this? I need help to push past this once and for all so I can move on too.

[LaRonge]

I tried to let go so many times but always came running back, usually because I contacted him.

Sorry you're going through this. Everybody here has been through similar, so you're not alone. The best thing you can do now is to remain no contact and don't break that no matter how much you want to. Focusing on yourself and time will help the most. Best of luck to you.