Hi Downright,
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I can relate with how difficult it is when you’re trying to save the marriage and nothing seems to work. You may have tried to get advice from family and friends and decided to set up marriage counseling and shared with her what could be wrong with her in order to keep the marriage intact.
The indifference to your feelings when a partner suffer from BPD is an incredible pain that some people can relate with and some suffer silently.
Marriage counselor says it’s BPD, she flipped out in denial and served me divorce papers 5 weeks later.
I would suggest to not bring up that she has BPD again for a few reasons. If a part of the reason that she served you the divorce papers is because she was told that she may have BPD telegraphs that she’s not ready to accept a diagnosis like this. She’s probably on the lower end of the spectrum with self awareness.
Only a professional can diagnose someone with a disorder. Your marriage counselor is probably seeing patterns that they’ve seen with other couples. Unless they have the medical degree to diagnose they and us as well can only look at BPD traits. It sounds like she’s been undiagnosed for a long time and maybe she was treated for other comorbid mental illnesses that usually exist with BPD such as depression, anxiety, PTSD to nane a few.
A technique that I can share with you is to post here. If you’re waiting fir a response read posts from other members and share with them. It helps to talk.
If you’re seeing a marriage counselor and if you already have not done so, I would suggest getting a therapist for yourself. Lean on your support network as well. Is there domine that I’d open minded and non judgmental that you can turn to in real life?
Sometimes we need a village to support us, therapist, online support group, family and friends. Talk to as many people that you can that are positive channels for support.
I would also suggest talking to your family doctor or GP about your sleep and try to take really good care of yourself.
Are you living together?
If not are you stalking to each other through text or an app?
