Would like to return to my life before this relationship

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm a new member.
Trying to emotionally detach and in therapy as an individual.
We live together and I continue to walk on eggs shells.
Just seeking to live my own life and have my own life again.

I'm looking for a community to confirm what I know. He's not interested in seeking help despite receiving advice from 3 couples therapists to do so. So it's necessary for me to somehow begin to detach. I will have to grieve for time lost. I am aware of that.

But more interesting to me is how I can learn and regain what I can. And how to do this in an environment where I am living with significant other.

Thanks and hi.

[Swirling]

I'm a new member.
Trying to emotionally detach and in therapy as an individual.
We live together and I continue to walk on eggs shells.
Just seeking to live my own life and have my own life again.

I'm looking for a community to confirm what I know. He's not interested in seeking help despite receiving advice from 3 couples therapists to do so. So it's necessary for me to somehow begin to detach. I will have to grieve for time lost. I am aware of that.

But more interesting to me is how I can learn and regain what I can. And how to do this in an environment where I am living with significant other.

Thanks and hi.

[Rev]

Good day Swirling,

And welcome! Sounds like you are planting your feet firmly to the ground to get some traction to move forward.

You've found a great place that will help you make the best of a not so good situation.

So if I understand correctly, you are currently living under the same roof?  How have you divided the living space?  And do you have plans to be living in separate residences? If so, when?  

I see you are in therapy now for yourself.  Reclaiming things for yourself is a great way to frame things.  Are there specific kinds of things you are working through with your therapist that you are finding helpful? My therapist helped me put down some markers that helped me know I was on the right path when things felt otherwise, especially when my negative self talk ramped up. This community here was a great help with that too. If you are interested, I'd be happy to share some thoughts depending on how they might fit with your own story. Every situation is a little bit unique after all. 

So then, are there any other details about your relationship that you might offer that could add some context?

So, once again, welcome. Sorry you find yourself in this challenging situation. Happy you've landed here.

Reach out any time.

And hang in there.

Rev