Reversing the texting addiction/urge

[Manic Miner]

It's about responding to received messages from others. It doesn't necessarily mean pwBPD is at the other end, but as a general issue with the texting urge.

It's been long since I noticed my habit that I need to reply almost immediately, whenever I hear the notification sound, otherwise I tend to think that I will disrespect someone or will miss something important.

It's even worse if I see the message, it's marked as "seen" and I haven't replied anything in an hour or more.

Also while texting with someone I tend to have the urge to always reply with something. Giving no reply equals disrespect. So I tend to put anything after someone said to me, even a smiley, as an acknowledgement that the person has been seen/heard.

Yes, it's my own insecurity/anxiety and other issues at play. Did anyone notice the same? I think I always had this issue but was magnified with my W and my sister.

Do you postpone the replying on purpose, even after you seen the message?
What is best to overcome this, but still maintain politeness and good behaviour?

[WitzEndWife]

I feel that. Part of it, with people other than my STBX, is that if I don't respond right away, I'll forget about it. I guess a solution to that would be to schedule in "text time" throughout the day to ensure you take time to look at or respond to messages. That would probably lessen the anxiety if you know you have a designated time to look.

When I first split from my husband, his texts and calls alone would cause anxiety in me to respond. My lawyer didn't want me to block him because of a consent agreement we had for him not to contact me. However, the more I practiced not jumping as soon as he said "Jump!", the easier it got.

I suspect it's a habit, just like anything else, no?

[stolencrumbs]

This doesn't really address the larger issue, but one easy thing to do is to turn off "read receipts" in your text app. Then people won't know if or when you saw the message and you don't have to worry about "leaving them on read."

[Riv3rW0lf]

I noticed the same pattern in myself a while back...

Some things that helped me was, like you mentioned, to force myself NOT to answer right away, and when the guilt crept it, I would ask myself those questions and remind myself those two things :
- Do I feel disrespected when someone doesn't answer me right away? (If No, then they shouldn't feel disrespected / If yes, then I would need to work on myself meaning if they feel disrespected, it is ON THEM).
- if it was truly important, I would call. A text is never supposed to be a life or death matter. 

I also now have "phone time", so I like WitzEndWife idea to have "text time". I agree that in the end : it is a habit.

There might be a push back from people the first few weeks, because you also trained them on you answering right away... They will need to "untrained, just like you.

[Manic Miner]

Thanks everyone.

What @Riv3rW0lf summarized is pretty much it. I'll need to un-train this habit, whatever the cause (even if the root traces back to pwBPD, it's not only caused by them).

[ForeverDad]

I don't know about cell phones in general, but mine gives only a little beep, barely noticeable.  So I tell people to call me if it's anything important or time sensitive.