Is/was your relationship with someone from a different culture and or country

[Sluggo]

Maybe it's that I noticed those stories a little bit more, but it seems like there's a higher majority of couples on this forum that were in a relationship with somebody from a different culture. 

Was your BPD relationship with someone from a different culture or country?

[Turkish]

Yes, she came from Mexico when she was 12. I met her when she was 26.

She told me that she'd never date or marry a Mexican man since they were all cheaters and beaters. That was her father. This was very black and white thinking. Cheating and beating doesn't go on in other cultures?

She left me for a young stud who was born here, but Puerto Rican. He was violent, a little, but so was she.

PDs are only diagnosed at a level clinical that is outside of the typical guard-bands of the home culture. I think that's what makes a Dx, even by arm chair (which is how most of us landed here), more confusing.

[Sluggo]

My ex was from Ecuador.  I met her when I first moved to Ecuador. At the time I knew very little Spanish.  I believe the language barrier and the loneliness of being in a culture by myself led to some poor choices and a quick physical relationship. 

I ended up marrying in Ecuador without my family meeting her until the week of the wedding. 

Sluggo

[GaGrl]

My husband married his uBPD/NPD ex in Thailand when he had an Army assignment. They were both very young. H's sister overheard Ex tell her friend that she married him to come to the U.S. Pretty straightforward, transactional PD behavior.

Years after they separated, when I came into the picture and learned of her behaviors and the conflicts and constant infidelities on her part, I asked him how much of their problems had been cultural and how much psychological. He immediately said 50-50. There definitely were cultural values that influenced her, but at this point, I would say the balance would be more 25 cultural/75 psychological. She is in her 60s now and a thorough paranoid mess.

[SinisterComplex]

I qualify here too...my ex wife is half-chinese and half-Irish and she was/is from New Zealand.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[FirstSteps]

Yes, me too.  My wife is from Europe and the cultural issues have not made things easier - whether we lived here or in her country.  I've thought about this - because I've noticed this possible trend too.  Maybe there is something in the need for drama, high validation in an intense "us against them" multicultural situation , desire to escape the home country.  Someone is always vulnerable in a pretty existential way.  I will totally admit that I have all those feelings too.  I'm definitely a recovering "intensity" addict.  It all played 100% into my self-image.

[Turkish]

The mother of my two buddies from high school was French. Her family escaped Morocco with the clothes on their backs, emigrated to Canada, and then among a French community in California. She was likely BPD, maybe schizophrenic. Hyper sexual and vindictive. Maybe it was refugee trauma?

My other buddy's dad's long time girlfriend escaped Hungary from the then Eastern Bloc as a teen. She alienated everyone in the family and is likely BPD. More refugee trauma? A lot of my coworkers are refugees from Vietnam. They all are very cool people with stable families.

This buddy's mom was BPD-ish, but pretty functional. Her daughter is dBPD, American born and bred. Their grandma was an Italian immigrant, but was a kind woman. It was more likely her alcoholic American husband.

My mom was BPD. Her dad was BPD or NPD, maybe ASPD. He was an Australian immigrant who was abandoned by his mother in Canada. He emigrated to the USA as an adult. Generational trauma.

[Sluggo]

Thanks for sharing everyone very interesting